children who are brought up by wealthy parent. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Over the past few decades, along with growing interest in child education, people’s attention to the family environment where a child is brought up has also significantly increased. Some people have begun to feel that a child who has grown up in a poor family tend to be better prepared to deal with problems. In my opinion, however, family environment alone does not much influence a child’s ability to solve problems.
A child who was born into a poor family would have had more situations where they had to solve a problem or make a decision on their own. This is because in most unfortunate families, both parents are usually working and children are put into situations where they have to take care of themselves. By contrast, due to their wealth, rich children can experience and learn things that unfortunate children cannot. For example, they usually go to the best schools and receive a higher education there, which prepares them better for solving problems in their life.
However, few would disagree with the fact that each individual is different. That is, problem solving skills come more from life experience. That is, the more a person experiences in life, the more they can use these experiences to adjust, to adapt and to solve problems they encounter. Personality also can be a factor in dealing with problems. A person who is optimistic, outgoing, confident and open-minded can look at and solve problems more effectively.
As discussed above, nature and nurture have an equal influence on a child’s ability to face challenges. Parents should spare no effort to figure out how they can help their children to be independent. I hope that in the future the next generation will grow up as mature citizens.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural noun form Original: child Suggested revision: children's Why it matters: The possessive form is more natural when referring broadly to the education of children.
- 2. Use correct relative phrase Original: the family environment where Suggested revision: the family environment in which Why it matters: Use 'in which' because the child is brought up within an environment.
- 3. Fix subject-verb agreement Original: tend Suggested revision: tends Why it matters: The singular subject 'a child' requires the verb 'tends'.
- 4. Improve adverb placement Original: much Suggested revision: greatly Why it matters: 'Greatly influence' expresses the intended degree more naturally.
- 5. Choose precise description Original: unfortunate Suggested revision: disadvantaged Why it matters: 'Disadvantaged' describes limited economic circumstances more precisely than 'unfortunate'.
- 6. Use neutral phrasing Original: rich children Suggested revision: children from wealthy families Why it matters: This phrase describes family circumstances more precisely and neutrally.
- 7. Choose precise description Original: unfortunate Suggested revision: disadvantaged Why it matters: 'Disadvantaged' is the more accurate term for children with fewer economic resources.
- 8. Clarify education quality Original: a higher education there Suggested revision: a higher-quality education there Why it matters: 'A higher education' usually refers to university study, while the sentence means education of better quality.
- 9. Hyphenate compound modifier Original: problem solving skills Suggested revision: problem-solving skills Why it matters: The compound modifier before 'skills' should be hyphenated.
- 10. Remove repeated linker Original: That is, the more a person experiences Suggested revision: The more a person experiences Why it matters: Removing the second consecutive 'That is' avoids mechanical repetition between sentences.
- 11. Place adverb naturally Original: Personality also can be Suggested revision: Personality can also be Why it matters: The adverb normally follows the modal verb in this structure.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: A child who was born into a poor family would have had more situations where they had to solve a problem or make a decision on their own. Suggested revision: A child born into a poor family may encounter more situations in which they have to solve a problem or make a decision on their own. Why it matters: This rewrite removes the inconsistent past and conditional verb forms while preserving the claim.
Suggested Rewrites
- child children's
- the family environment where the family environment in which
- tend tends
- much greatly
- unfortunate disadvantaged
- rich children children from wealthy families
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear paragraphing and its willingness to consider several influences on problem-solving ability. Its central position becomes less precise because the introduction minimizes family influence while the conclusion gives nature and nurture equal weight, and some supporting claims remain broad. The priority is to state one consistent degree of agreement and develop each reason with a specific, logically connected example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the comparison and explores relevant influences, but its position shifts and several ideas are only generally supported.
Maintain one explicit degree of agreement from introduction to conclusion and substantiate each main claim with a concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through distinct, logically ordered paragraphs, although repeated reformulation and the broad conclusion slightly weaken cohesion.
Use more precise referencing between claims and make the conclusion directly synthesize the preceding comparison.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows adequate range for discussing upbringing and personal qualities, with some awkward or imprecise choices such as using unfortunate for poor.
Choose neutral, exact collocations such as low-income families and develop problem-solving skills to improve precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A useful range of simple and complex structures is generally controlled, though agreement and word-order errors recur occasionally.
Check subject-verb agreement and natural adverb placement, especially in sentences built around singular subjects such as a child.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
children who are brought up by wealthy parent. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.