As reading is important for a good education, we should encourage our children to read whatever appeals to them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
The famous English philosopher Francis Bacon said, "Reading makes a full man". Reading books can strongly shape your inclination, mature your thoughts, widen your horizon and enrich your personality. Life is limited, but knowledge is boundless. The more books we read, the more knowledge we get. Hence, We should encourage our children to read more books. However, books can also be harmful, particularly the pornographic books. Bad books contain evil thoughts. In them, there might be much description about violence, superstition, and sex. Let's suppose that you are in the position of a parent. Would you allow your children to read whatever appeals to them? If your answer to the question is "yes", you are either extremely permissive or just plain irresponsible. If children read bad books, the evil thoughts would poison their mind gradually. They will be dispirited and perhaps commit a crime. Good books, on the other hand, teach and help children to do good things. Good books are children's real companions, and they are both instructive and inspiring. Children know past events from history books, study communication by language book, learn space and numbers through mathematics books. In a word, different kinds of good books can give them numerous idea and knowledge. Consequently, those who read good books can be inspired to grow healthily, while those who read bad ones will lead a wicked life and meet with miserable failure. So before we encourage our children to read books, we should teach and help them to identify good and bad books.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Improve word choice Original: inclination Suggested revision: interests Why it matters: “Interests” expresses the intended effect of reading more naturally than “inclination.”
- 2. Fix collocation Original: mature your thoughts Suggested revision: develop your thinking Why it matters: “Develop your thinking” is the natural collocation for intellectual growth.
- 3. Use standard phrase Original: widen your horizon Suggested revision: broaden your horizons Why it matters: The established expression is “broaden your horizons,” with a plural noun.
- 4. Lowercase after comma Original: We Suggested revision: we Why it matters: A word following a mid-sentence comma should not begin with a capital letter.
- 5. Add limiting determiner Original: books can also be harmful Suggested revision: some books can also be harmful Why it matters: Adding “some” avoids an unintended generalisation about all books.
- 6. Remove article Original: particularly the pornographic books Suggested revision: particularly pornographic books Why it matters: The definite article is unnecessary when referring to this category in general.
- 7. Use precise wording Original: Bad books contain evil thoughts Suggested revision: Harmful books can contain damaging ideas Why it matters: The revision replaces vague and absolute wording with a more precise claim.
- 8. Fix number and preposition Original: much description about violence Suggested revision: many descriptions of violence Why it matters: The countable noun requires “many,” and “descriptions of” is the correct phrase.
- 9. Moderate vague claim Original: the evil thoughts would poison their mind gradually Suggested revision: such harmful ideas may gradually influence their minds Why it matters: This wording is more precise and keeps the plural possessive reference consistent.
- 10. Use cautious modal Original: They will be dispirited Suggested revision: They may become dispirited Why it matters: “May become” appropriately expresses a possible rather than certain outcome.
- 11. Clarify verb structure Original: teach and help children to do good things Suggested revision: teach children and encourage them to do good things Why it matters: The revision gives each verb a clear and grammatically complete complement.
- 12. Refine expression Original: children's real companions Suggested revision: valuable companions for children Why it matters: “Valuable companions” conveys the positive relationship more precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- inclination interests
- mature your thoughts develop your thinking
- widen your horizon broaden your horizons
- We we
- books can also be harmful some books can also be harmful
- particularly the pornographic books particularly pornographic books
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers a clear rejection of unrestricted reading and explains that parents should guide children toward beneficial material, while also recognising the educational value of books. Its main weaknesses are the absence of paragraphing and highly exaggerated claims that unsuitable books inevitably produce crime or failure; prioritise a balanced, evidence-based argument with clear paragraphs and practical criteria for age-appropriate reading.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses the proposition and reaches a relevant position, but its support depends heavily on extreme, insufficiently justified consequences.
Explain realistic risks such as age-inappropriate content or misinformation and propose guided choice rather than dividing all books into simply good or evil.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a recognisable contrast between beneficial and harmful reading, but the entire essay is one block and rhetorical questions interrupt progression.
Use an introduction, one paragraph on reading freedom and benefits, one on limits and guidance, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough range to discuss education and influence, though frequent collocational and word-form errors reduce precision.
Use broaden horizons, develop thinking, descriptions of violence, language books, numerous ideas, and develop healthily in accurate contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence forms show some variety and meaning is generally clear, but agreement, capitalization, article, number, and parallel-structure errors recur.
Check plurals and parallel verbs, writing children’s minds, language books, numerous ideas, and learn about space and numbers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As reading is important for a good education, we should encourage our children to read whatever appeals to them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.