Some people think playing mobile phones everyday is bad for children. Others think it is good for developing children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This response is estimated at Band 5.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
In this era, mobile phones arethe mobile phones are especially popular with people. There are a large number of different functions. However, do mobile phones only have benefits without harm? Or only have harm without benefits?
Some people think using smartphones dailyplaying mobile phones everyday is bad for students. Others think it is good for developing children as they grow up. Both of these opinions are validThese opinions both not wrong, but they are a little one-sided. First, prolonged screen timelong-term watching mobile phones is harmful to children's eyes and can lead to myopiaand then leads to myopia. This is an important problem and disadvantage. On the other hand, children who engage inThen, children like playing games on their mobile phones which can improve multitasking because players have to switch between different tasks quickly. It is good cognitive stimulationbrain training. All in all, the advantages of mobile phones are balanced; we cannotare balanced, we can not view them from a single perspectivereview it in a single side.
In my opinion, the advantages of mobile phones outweigh the disadvantagesthe mobile phones' advantages outweigh disadvantages. On the one hand, children face heavy academic stresschildren have a heavy stress on their study. They should attend lessons on weekends as wellattend the lessons on the weekend too and only have a little time to rest, so the mobile phones can reduce stress quickly in a short time and recharge their energythen provide much energy to children. On the other hand, artificial intelligence is popular with people on the mobile phone. It can provide interactive companionshipIt is the best friend for children when they are lonely.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The essay presents a clear overall opinion and touches on both sides of the topic, but it suffers from limited idea development and falls below the required word count. To raise the score, expand on key arguments with more detailed examples and refine grammatical accuracy. Focus on building fully developed paragraphs while eliminating noticeable word-choice and structural errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The main points addressing both perspectives and a personal stance are present, but development remains limited and the overall response is under the expected word length.
Extend each supporting point with deeper explanations and specific examples to ensure all parts of the prompt are thoroughly developed well over 250 words.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and basic cohesive devices are used to organize ideas, though transitions can feel mechanical and ideas within paragraphs do not always flow smoothly.
Group related ideas into well-structured main body paragraphs using clear topic sentences and smoother linking words.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys basic meaning but relies on repeated prompt phrases and restricted word choices.
Incorporate a broader range of topic-specific vocabulary and collocations while avoiding direct repetition of prompt language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple sentence forms are often clear, but frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues reduce the overall control of complex structures.
Practice constructing complex sentences accurately, paying close attention to clause boundaries, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions.