Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
One common area of debate among parents is the extent to which children should be trusted to make their own decisions and the potential impact this will have on their sense of responsibility. Although decision-making skills will help in some ways, I believe parents should dictate choices for children in order to make them more aware of others.
On the one hand, children who have been allowed to make their own choices will eventually develop a keen sense of responsibilty. This can be best seen in the contrasting example of helicopter parents and more liberal parents. Helicopter parents smother their children with attention and make the majority of their decisions for them. Over time, these kids will likely become dependent on their parents. If your parents always pick out your clothes then you never have to check weather forecasts, make choices about what colours match or concern yourself with trends in fashion. Later in life, these kids will not have developed any of these skills because of their parents. Contrast this with children who pick out their own clothes; they will have to consider these factors carefully and it will make them more responsible when it comes to shopping and taking care of their wardrobe.
On the other hand, I still believe that parents should make the majority of choices so that children will be more responsible towards others. For example, some parents have made the logical and ethical choice to be vegetarians and they force their children to do the same. This can have a positive effect not only on their individual health but also on the environment. Moreover, it is a learning opportunity for parents to teach their offspring about ethics. Parents can make the argument that industrial farming is inhumane and animals should be treated with more respect. This may have a carry-over effect resulting in their children growing up to be more thoughtful towards others.
In conclusion, parents should make most decisions for children to guide them to be more empathetic. They should work with teachers in their efforts to raise conscientous future citizens.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct spelling Original: responsibilty Suggested revision: responsibility Why it matters: The noun 'responsibility' is misspelled.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: can be best seen in Suggested revision: is best illustrated by Why it matters: The revision introduces the example more directly and naturally.
- 3. Correct contrast phrase Original: the contrasting example of helicopter parents and more liberal parents Suggested revision: the contrast between helicopter parents and more liberal parents Why it matters: A comparison between two groups is expressed as a 'contrast between' them.
- 4. Use formal register Original: kids Suggested revision: children Why it matters: 'Children' is more appropriate than the informal 'kids' in an academic essay.
- 5. Clarify reference Original: it will make them more responsible Suggested revision: doing so will make them more responsible Why it matters: 'Doing so' clearly refers to considering the listed factors.
- 6. Express intended quality Original: responsible towards others Suggested revision: considerate of others Why it matters: 'Considerate of others' naturally expresses awareness of other people's needs.
- 7. Improve complement form Original: made the logical and ethical choice to be vegetarians Suggested revision: made the logical and ethical choice to follow a vegetarian diet Why it matters: The revised complement describes the parents' dietary choice more precisely.
- 8. Use direct structure Original: it is a learning opportunity for parents Suggested revision: it gives parents an opportunity Why it matters: The direct verb structure avoids the awkward 'opportunity for parents to teach' phrasing.
- 9. Use concise verb Original: can make the argument Suggested revision: can argue Why it matters: The single verb 'argue' expresses the same meaning more concisely.
- 10. Correct verb pattern Original: guide them to be more empathetic Suggested revision: help them become more empathetic Why it matters: 'Help someone become' is the natural construction for encouraging a quality.
- 11. Correct spelling Original: conscientous Suggested revision: conscientious Why it matters: The adjective 'conscientious' is misspelled.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: If your parents always pick out your clothes then you never have to check weather forecasts, make choices about what colours match or concern yourself with trends in fashion. Suggested revision: If parents always pick out their children's clothes, the children never have to check weather forecasts, decide which colours match, or consider fashion trends. Why it matters: The rewrite maintains a consistent third-person perspective and improves parallel phrasing.
Suggested Rewrites
- responsibilty responsibility
- can be best seen in is best illustrated by
- the contrasting example of helicopter parents and more liberal parents the contrast between helicopter parents and more liberal parents
- kids children
- it will make them more responsible doing so will make them more responsible
- responsible towards others considerate of others
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its sustained, well-organised reasoning and detailed examples, particularly the contrast between controlling and liberal parenting. Its main limitation is that the argument for parental control depends heavily on one vegetarianism example and only indirectly addresses the claim about self-focused individuals. The highest-priority improvement is to connect each example more explicitly to selfishness, empathy, and the appropriate boundary between children's and parents' decisions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are developed and the writer's position is clear throughout, although the parental-control case is somewhat narrow and indirect in relation to selfishness.
Broaden the second argument and explicitly explain how parental guidance on everyday choices develops concern for other people.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from the opposing view to the writer's position, with focused paragraphs and well-managed cohesion.
Tighten the first body paragraph slightly so its extended clothing example leaves more space for balancing the competing perspective.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and often precise, with effective use of terms such as 'helicopter parents', 'ethical choice', and 'carry-over effect', despite a few spelling slips.
Correct misspellings such as 'responsibilty' and 'conscientous' and replace occasional informal wording such as 'kids' in this academic context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are varied and consistently well controlled, with errors rare and meaning fully clear.
Refine occasional reference and register choices, such as shifts to second-person 'your', while maintaining the strong structural control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.