Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?
Sample Response
Many people think that modern children have an abundance of free time and doing more school work in their free time is necessary. As parents, being concerned about children's grades and studies is natural but overpressuring them to study and get top grades might backfire. Children's leisure activity should be fun yet interesting which will eventually teach them important lessons and make them more creative. Schoolwork is definitely important. But if children are forced to study all day long without having enough time for recreation or refreshment, it will increase their stress level and negatively affect their physical and cognitive development in later stages of their lives. I believe, free time means a child should be allowed to do things that our of their normal routine. For children, it can be playing sports in the playground or a park with other kids of their age. This will teach them how to be a team player and enhance their social skills. They can also play educative video games for a few minutes and watch cartoon shows. Besides, practising a hobby sounds impressive to me. For this, a family should be open-minded and try to find the hidden talents of their offsprings. I believe that not all children are born with particular talents. It is our duty as parents, teachers and relatives who motivate them and engaging them in extracurricular activities such as drawing, dancing, singing etc are also necessary. We have to understand that an unsocial adolescent with good academic grades cannot make much impact on our society and cannot climb the professional success. In conclusion, even though studying and preparing for exams is very important for the future of a child, we should not enforce them to be occupied with it all the time. Instead, various social, fun and creative activities in free time will make them more prepared for the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise time phrase Original: in later stages of their lives Suggested revision: later in their lives Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the future-life reference more naturally.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: activity Suggested revision: activities Why it matters: The general claim concerns the range of activities children undertake, so the plural form is needed.
- 3. Use additive link Original: yet Suggested revision: and Why it matters: These qualities reinforce rather than contrast with each other, so and expresses the relationship clearly.
- 4. Match plural reference Original: level Suggested revision: levels Why it matters: The plural possessive their refers to multiple children, each with a stress level.
- 5. Remove stray comma Original: I believe, Suggested revision: I believe Why it matters: No comma should separate the reporting phrase from the clause that follows.
- 6. Repair missing verb Original: things that our of their normal routine Suggested revision: things that are outside their normal routine Why it matters: The clause needs the verb are and the preposition outside to be grammatical.
- 7. Use parallel articles Original: in the playground or a park Suggested revision: in a playground or park Why it matters: Using one shared indefinite article makes the two general locations parallel.
- 8. Use concise formal wording Original: other kids of their age Suggested revision: other children their age Why it matters: Children is more formal here, and of is unnecessary in this age expression.
- 9. Choose standard adjective Original: educative Suggested revision: educational Why it matters: Educational is the standard adjective for games intended to support learning.
- 10. State value directly Original: practising a hobby sounds impressive to me Suggested revision: practising a hobby is another valuable option Why it matters: The revision conveys the activity's value more precisely and formally.
- 11. Clarify the link Original: For this Suggested revision: To support this Why it matters: The revised connector states how the family's action relates to the hobby suggestion.
- 12. Use uncountable form Original: offsprings Suggested revision: offspring Why it matters: Offspring has the same form in the singular and plural.
Suggested Rewrites
- in later stages of their lives later in their lives
- activity activities
- yet and
- level levels
- I believe, I believe
- things that our of their normal routine things that are outside their normal routine
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, relevant view of how children should use leisure time and supports it with several sensible activities and benefits. Its main limitation is that the ideas are delivered in one long block and are sometimes weakened by awkward wording and faulty sentence construction. The highest priority is to organise the argument into distinct paragraphs and edit each sentence for grammatical completeness and natural collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly, maintains a clear position, and develops several relevant ways children can use their free time.
Develop one or two activities more deeply with precise explanations instead of briefly listing several options.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas generally progress logically and linking expressions clarify relationships, but the absence of paragraphing makes the argument feel compressed.
Divide the response into purposeful paragraphs that separate the position, supporting reasons, examples, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied vocabulary for education, recreation, development, and social skills, though several word choices and collocations are unnatural.
Replace awkward expressions with established combinations such as educational games, discover talents, and achieve professional success.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, but recurring agreement, clause, and sentence-construction errors reduce control.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure, correct verb forms, and clear links between subjects and predicates.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.