Some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behaviour while others say the amount of time children they spend watching Tv influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Sample Response
Some people suggest that it is not how much time children spend watching television that has an impact on their behaviour, but rather the content of what they watch, while others disagree. Personally, I think both factors can affectboth of these factors can have an impact on a child’s behaviour, especially when the two factors are combined.
Firstly, in recent decadesover the last decade or two, there has been a steady increase in the amount of inappropriate content that has been broadcastallowed to be televised. Television programmes and commercials these days are full of graphic violence, sex scenes and sexual connotations, among other unsuitable materialamongst other topics that are considered unsuitable for childrenconsidered unsuitable for children’s viewing. Even cartoon programmes these days are full of violence. Young children are the most affected by this issue becausedue to the fact that they are still learning about and forming ideas about the worldlearning and developing ideas about the world. Being exposed to such content can negatively shape their views and personal relationships, and therefore affect their behaviour.
However, not only does the content of what children watch affect their behaviour but also how much time they spend watching television. In most modern societies, it isIn most modern societies it is very common for young children to spend hours each day watching televisionhours of their day with their eyes glued to the television screen. Many children watch television as soon as they wake up in the morning and as soon as they come home from school. Many parents even consider the television to be like a baby-sitter, something to keep their children occupied. Unfortunately, this has many detrimental effects on children’s behaviour, the primary reason being that most children suffer from a severe lack of outdoor activity and exercise, which are vital for a child’s well-being and development.
In conclusion, I believe that both what children watch and how much time they spend watching television can impact their behaviour. Governing authorities should consider more stringent regulations when it comes to television programme content and parents need to be more careful about how much time their children spend watching television every day to avoid the negative implications that it can have on their children’s behaviour.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear, sustained position and fluent explanation of how unsuitable content can shape children’s attitudes and relationships. The discussion of viewing time is less fully developed because it moves from inactivity to behaviour without explaining that connection in detail. The highest-priority improvement is to show precisely how excessive screen time changes conduct, using a specific causal example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer’s opinion remains clear, but the explanation of how viewing duration affects behaviour is slightly indirect.
Extend the second main idea with a concrete example showing the behavioural consequences of excessive viewing time.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and clear links between the position and conclusion.
Vary repeated references to television and children so that cohesion becomes even smoother and less noticeable.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, including strong language for media content, development, and regulation.
Replace slightly cumbersome expressions such as “the negative implications that it can have” with shorter, more precise phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentence forms is handled accurately, with only isolated problems in structural balance.
Keep both elements of correlative structures grammatically parallel, especially in sentences using “not only” and “but also”.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behaviour while others say the amount of time children they spend watching Tv influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.