Some people think zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, some people think zoos can help protect the rare animals. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Sample Response

1

The question of whether zoos should be closed has sparked an intense debate. A large proportion of people maintain that zoos playplays an indispensable role in animal protection while opponents contend that zooszoo are cruel and should be banned. I will present my own perspective after analyzing these two opposite viewpoints.

2

To begin with, some zoos treat animals as commercial commoditiesmonetary tools to earn more profits. For example, to attract more visitors from other areas or local residents, operatorsorganizers may force animals to perform acrobatics such as riding a bike, which is detrimental to their health. There is no denying that such zoos are unwilling to provide good medical and living conditions since it needs a large amountlarge amount of money and reduces their profitability. Additionally, confined in relatively small and a limited spacelimited space, wild animals tend to form stereotypical behaviors, which indicates their unhealthy psychological statementality. For instance, it is not uncommon for tourists to observe that plenty of tigers in zoos pace along certain routes constantly.

3

However, well-organized zoos are integral parts of rare animal conservation. FirstInitially, recruiting professional zoologists and other experts, zoos can provideoffer rare animals with excellent medical healthcare, which significantly improvesimprove their physical health. To illustrate, without proper medical treatment, rare animals who get injured in the wild environment are more likely to suffer from great pain or even the threat of death. Furthermore, one of the most striking reasons forof the extinction of rare animals is the lack of food supply. In contrast, captive animalsHowever, captive animals in zoos can access sufficient food sources, addressing the potential danger of hunger.

4

From my perspective, as zoos are of pivotal importance to animalanimals preservation, theyit should be regulated rather than being prohibited. For governments, it is advisable to introduce specific regulations and enact laws to regulate the operationsbehaviors of zoos. Only by proper supervision and legal force can strengthen the functions of zoos.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The essay presents a well-structured response that effectively discusses both perspectives of the debate and offers a clear, nuanced personal stance. Logical paragraphing and strong lexical choices drive the writing forward smoothly. To achieve a higher score, focus on eliminating minor grammatical slips in subject-verb agreement and noun plurals, as well as refining complex sentence mechanics.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

Both sides of the argument are addressed with relevant examples, and a clear opinion is stated in the conclusion.

Next step

Ensure your personal position is integrated earlier or explicitly linked to the body arguments for greater development.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs with effective transitional signals between opposing views.

Next step

Vary your cohesive devices slightly more to avoid relying on repetitive patterns like 'To begin with' and 'Furthermore'.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

A good range of topic-specific vocabulary and advanced collocations is used appropriately throughout the response.

Next step

Double-check minor word choice collocations and prepositional uses, such as 'offer rare animals with' instead of 'offer rare animals'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted, but frequent minor errors in agreement and pluralization reduce accuracy.

Next step

Proofread carefully to fix subject-verb agreement errors like 'zoos plays' and noun number mistakes like 'zoo are'.