In some countries, prisoners are allowed comfortable accommodation, good food, and healthcare. Do you think this is appropriate? To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In this concurrent world, it is undoubtedly true that the most of individuals being criminal because they do not have basic facilities which helps them to survive. Some people concur that government should not give these types of means to prisoners. However, I quibble from them and propound that criminal is also human so, we provide them basal needs.
Adequate evidences are obtainable to substantiate the concept of the fundamental facilities for prisoners. The top-notch concrete reason is that criminal mostly comes from poverty and because of these condition they have to put their foot into crime world. If authority provide them best facilities and also good behavior to them, then there will be chances to change them into well human being. Another rational reason which hauls me to patron is that if government do not provide them best resources, then they may be become more violent and we also stripping fundamental needs from them. So as a human, we cannot forget our humanity and we must provide that basic needs to them. Such as accommodation, well food, and healthcare facilities.
What is half full for some, may appear half empty to others. So public in general tend to distinguish that prisoners are not eligible to that types of resources because they are culprit of our society which has multifarious reasons. To commence with, some people deem that if authority provide that types of means to them then its totally waste of money. They also uphold that government should use these money on development of society.
All in All, I reiterate that there are innumerable strong factors supporting to fundamental rights of prisoners. Consequently, I firmly agree to the given statement.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural reporting verb Original: concur that government Suggested revision: argue that the government Why it matters: “Argue” fits the presentation of an opposing view, while the institution needs an article.
- 2. Choose precise noun Original: these types of means Suggested revision: these provisions Why it matters: “Provisions” clearly refers to the accommodation, food, and healthcare supplied to prisoners.
- 3. Use uncountable noun Original: Adequate evidences are obtainable Suggested revision: Adequate evidence is available Why it matters: “Evidence” is uncountable and therefore takes the singular verb “is.”
- 4. Avoid unsuitable wording Original: top-notch concrete reason Suggested revision: main reason Why it matters: “Top-notch” describes high quality and is unsuitable for ranking an argument.
- 5. Express cause clearly Original: criminal mostly comes from poverty Suggested revision: criminal behaviour often stems from poverty Why it matters: The revision uses the correct noun phrase and a natural verb for causation.
- 6. Match determiner and noun Original: condition Suggested revision: conditions Why it matters: The plural determiner “these” requires a plural noun.
- 7. Replace faulty idiom Original: put their foot into crime world Suggested revision: enter the world of crime Why it matters: The original expression is not an English idiom for becoming involved in crime.
- 8. Fix articles and agreement Original: If authority provide them best facilities Suggested revision: If the authorities provide them with good facilities Why it matters: The plural institutional noun and the pattern “provide someone with something” are required here.
- 9. Use natural expression Original: good behavior to them Suggested revision: treat them well Why it matters: “Treat them well” naturally describes humane behaviour toward prisoners.
- 10. Repair complement structure Original: there will be chances to change them into well human being Suggested revision: there may be a chance for them to become better people Why it matters: The revision corrects the noun phrase and uses the natural pattern “a chance for someone to become.”
- 11. Replace misused words Original: which hauls me to patron Suggested revision: that supports my view Why it matters: “Hauls” and “patron” do not express that a reason reinforces the writer’s position.
- 12. Fix article and agreement Original: if government do not provide Suggested revision: if the government does not provide Why it matters: The singular noun needs an article and the third-person verb “does.”
Suggested Rewrites
- concur that government argue that the government
- these types of means these provisions
- Adequate evidences are obtainable Adequate evidence is available
- top-notch concrete reason main reason
- criminal mostly comes from poverty criminal behaviour often stems from poverty
- condition conditions
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response gives a firm position and presents relevant reasons based on rehabilitation, basic rights, and public spending. Its main limitation is that the argument is only partly developed and is repeatedly obscured by inaccurate vocabulary and grammar, despite a generally recognisable progression. The highest priority is to express fewer ideas in clear, controlled sentences and support each one with a specific explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant reasons are offered, but several claims receive limited explanation and the opposing view is only briefly considered.
Explain precisely how humane conditions could support rehabilitation and connect that explanation directly to why the provision is appropriate.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is broadly logical, but formulaic transitions, repetition, and occasional fragments weaken the flow within ideas.
Give each paragraph one central purpose and link sentences through their meaning rather than relying on memorised transition phrases.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations and inappropriate word choices often make the expression unnatural or unclear.
Use familiar, accurate terms such as basic needs, humane treatment, rehabilitation, and public funds instead of uncertain high-level synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, verb forms, and sentence construction reduce clarity.
Build accurate simple sentences first, then combine them while checking subject-verb agreement, noun number, and complete verb phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, prisoners are allowed comfortable accommodation, good food, and healthcare. Do you think this is appropriate? To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.