Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?
Sample Response
These days the competition for the same job has increased, as more young people apply for it. The main problems this causes are high competition for one job and an increased unemployment rate. The most viable solutions are creating special programs for young people and expanding the job market by introducing special positions for others. Having a high number of people applying for the same job creates high competition for one position, among younger and older people. As a result, for one position apply hundreds of people, and only one, mainly young people, is hired. Additionally, this leads to unemployment, as there are not many positions available to people and not everyone finds a job. In Ukraine, for example, every year many people in their forties or fifties file for unemployment insurance, as they were not able to find a job due to the companies prefer hiring younger candidates rather them. One way for governments to overcome this difficulty is to create special positions for the elder and senior people, like to be trainers. In such a way, they will not lose their jobs and will be able to pass their knowledge to the younger generations. Another solution is for organizations to introduce more internships or traineeships. Creating such opportunities will assist people in having at least temporary jobs. For example, every year a well-known Ukrainian mobile company Life hires the younger for one year program with a future potential full-time employment, as they want to retain their current employees and provide future job opportunities for younger generations. In conclusion, having more young people applying for the same job creates high competition and unemployment. In order to overcome this, the government should introduce more positions, like trainers for elderly and current employees, and offer more internships for the younger generation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Improve collocation Original: high competition for one job Suggested revision: intense competition for each job Why it matters: Intense competition is the natural collocation, and each job expresses the general claim clearly.
- 2. Use infinitive complement Original: solutions are creating Suggested revision: solutions are to create Why it matters: The complement after are should use parallel infinitive forms in this sentence.
- 3. Clarify vague reference Original: special positions for others Suggested revision: special positions for older workers Why it matters: Others does not clearly identify the group contrasted with young people.
- 4. Remove misplaced comma Original: one position, among Suggested revision: one position among Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the noun phrase from its among-complement.
- 5. Remove redundant wording Original: positions available to people Suggested revision: positions available Why it matters: Available already conveys that the positions can be taken by people.
- 6. Fix benefits collocation Original: file for unemployment insurance Suggested revision: claim unemployment benefits Why it matters: Claim unemployment benefits is the standard expression for receiving this support.
- 7. Match present timeframe Original: were not able Suggested revision: are unable Why it matters: The present tense matches the recurring situation introduced by every year.
- 8. Fix causal clause Original: due to the companies prefer Suggested revision: because companies prefer Why it matters: Because is needed before the finite clause companies prefer.
- 9. Complete preference phrase Original: rather Suggested revision: over Why it matters: Prefer requires over to express a comparison between candidate groups here.
- 10. Name group naturally Original: the elder and senior people Suggested revision: older workers Why it matters: Elder is misused here, and senior people is redundant and imprecise.
- 11. Fix example structure Original: like to be trainers Suggested revision: such as trainer roles Why it matters: Such as correctly introduces an example of the proposed positions.
- 12. Use natural reference Original: In such a way Suggested revision: In this way Why it matters: In this way refers directly and naturally to the preceding proposal.
Suggested Rewrites
- high competition for one job intense competition for each job
- solutions are creating solutions are to create
- special positions for others special positions for older workers
- one position, among one position among
- positions available to people positions available
- file for unemployment insurance claim unemployment benefits
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in its clear problem-solution direction and its use of relevant employment examples. Its main limitation is that the two stated problems substantially overlap, while some proposed measures are only loosely explained as solutions to competition between age groups. The highest priority is to distinguish the causes and consequences more sharply, then show exactly how each proposed policy would reduce the identified problem.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions, but the problems overlap and the solutions are not always convincingly linked to age-based job competition.
Develop two distinct problems and explain the mechanism by which each matching solution would reduce them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The problem-to-solution sequence is easy to follow, though repetition and the absence of paragraph breaks limit the clarity of progression.
Group the introduction, problems, solutions, and conclusion into separate paragraphs and reduce repeated statements of competition and unemployment.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient employment-related vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and imprecise labels reduce flexibility and precision.
Use natural terms such as older workers, unemployment benefits, prefer younger candidates, and potential full-time employment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms communicate the main ideas, but frequent errors in word order, articles, agreement, and clause construction reduce accuracy.
Prioritize sentence patterns after result phrases and correct structures following due to, prefer, and assist before attempting greater complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.