Because many children are not able to learn foreign languages, schools should not force them to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some feel that since it is challenging for children to learn a foreign language, schools should not emphasize this subject area. In my opinion, the challenge is the entire justification for supporting second language education.
Critics argue that the majority of children are simply incapable of learning an additional language. The best evidence for this is anecdotal and relates to the increasingly large burden of work placed on young children. Schools in many parts of the world, particularly in high-achieving nations such as South Korea and Japan, are in session for many hours and students learn an array of subjects. They are usually taught English, the world’s lingua franca, and this is especially difficult for speakers of Asian languages, where there is little shared linguistic history. The end result is often that students waste time and may feel discouraged and lack self-esteem.
However, children can learn languages better than adults and the challenge presented is itself an important lesson. If the schools have invested in proper training and use engaging materials then the lessons will not be boring and there is a stronger likelihood of success. Research has shown that language learning is most effective before the age of 7, with pronunciation becoming a stumbling block for older learners who already have fixed vocal formations. Moreover, the difficulty of learning a language encourages children to work harder and expand their ability to learn in creative ways. This applies to all subjects but languages stand out as students must seek novel memorization techniques and view the world from a completely different perspective.
In conclusion, despite the low rates of success in many cases, the impact of attempting to learn a language is itself tremendously beneficial. Schools should therefore continue funding this part of the curriculum.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State the policy clearly Original: emphasize this subject area Suggested revision: make this subject a priority Why it matters: The revision expresses the intended school-policy claim more directly.
- 2. Use an idiomatic phrase Original: the entire justification Suggested revision: the very reason Why it matters: “The very reason” conveys the emphasis more naturally and concisely.
- 3. Use a concise collocation Original: increasingly large burden of work Suggested revision: growing workload Why it matters: “Growing workload” expresses the same idea more naturally and economically.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: are in session for many hours Suggested revision: have long school days Why it matters: This wording is more direct and idiomatic for describing students’ schedules.
- 5. Fix the relative clause Original: where there is little shared linguistic history Suggested revision: which share little linguistic history with English Why it matters: “Which” correctly refers to the languages, while “where” incorrectly suggests a place.
- 6. Improve parallel wording Original: may feel discouraged and lack self-esteem Suggested revision: may feel discouraged and experience low self-esteem Why it matters: The revised verbs create a more natural and balanced pairing.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: the challenge presented Suggested revision: the challenge this presents Why it matters: Adding the demonstrative makes clear that language learning presents the challenge.
- 8. Fix the conditional Original: If the schools have invested Suggested revision: If schools invest Why it matters: A general conditional needs the present simple and no definite article before “schools.”
- 9. Use a precise term Original: fixed vocal formations Suggested revision: established pronunciation habits Why it matters: The replacement describes the intended speech habits more clearly and naturally.
- 10. Use a concise phrase Original: expand their ability to learn Suggested revision: develop their learning skills Why it matters: This revision expresses the intended improvement in learning ability more precisely.
- 11. Use the standard collocation Original: low rates of success Suggested revision: low success rates Why it matters: “Low success rates” is the conventional and more concise collocation.
Suggested Rewrites
- emphasize this subject area make this subject a priority
- the entire justification the very reason
- increasingly large burden of work growing workload
- are in session for many hours have long school days
- where there is little shared linguistic history which share little linguistic history with English
- may feel discouraged and lack self-esteem may feel discouraged and experience low self-esteem
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay is persuasive and well organised, sustaining a clear position while considering the opposing view and developing its own case with specific reasoning. Its main limitation is that a few assertions about inability and success rates are broader than their support, and some sophisticated phrases sound slightly forced. Prioritise tighter qualification of those claims and more natural precision in the occasional awkward expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a clear position, a considered counterargument, and well-developed supporting reasons.
Qualify broad claims about children's ability and success rates with more precise reasoning or evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and progression are highly effective, with ideas sequenced logically and cohesive devices used unobtrusively.
Make the transition from rebutting practical difficulty to explaining its educational value even more direct.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible vocabulary conveys complex ideas precisely, with only occasional slightly forced wording.
Replace expressions such as fixed vocal formations with more natural, discipline-appropriate phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is handled accurately, and errors are rare and do not impede communication.
Polish tense and article choices in hypothetical sentences to make already strong grammatical control more consistent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Because many children are not able to learn foreign languages, schools should not force them to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.