Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
These days unpaid community services are common, and high school students are expected to engage in such services. Community services include charity, teaching sports to younger children, taking care of the elderly and participating in cleaning campaigns are some of them. I am in favour of the idea that high school students should do community service, and I will explain my reasons as follows.
High school students will soon join the country’s working force, and they are the ones who will receive the country’s economy; in order to make them responsible, individuals doing community services will enable them to understand the community problems and challenges in detail. So, in the future, they will know how to be part of the solutions and create for them the platform to be problem-solving citizens.
The other importance of participating in Community service is to improve and develop self-esteem and get respect from the community. By exposing themselves to the community will create insight for young individuals for their future careers.
In addition to the above points, one crucial truth that everybody should understand is that the community contributed in one way or another to the well-being of the new generation. So the young generation, which includes high school students, have a moral responsibility to serve the community. One of the means to pay back the community is by actively participating in unpaid community service.
Organizations nowadays give extra credit to candidates who have experience in community service. So doing community service is important for career development.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Mark the opening phrase Original: These days Suggested revision: These days, Why it matters: A comma clearly separates the introductory time phrase from the main clause.
- 2. Use the uncountable form Original: services Suggested revision: service Why it matters: Community service is uncountable when referring generally to this kind of activity.
- 3. Match the singular noun Original: are Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The singular uncountable phrase community service requires is.
- 4. Use a precise collocation Original: be part of the solutions Suggested revision: contribute to solutions Why it matters: Contribute to solutions expresses active involvement more naturally.
- 5. Fix the expression Original: create for them the platform Suggested revision: provide them with a foundation Why it matters: Provide them with a foundation is the idiomatic construction for this intended meaning.
- 6. Fix the complement Original: to be problem-solving citizens Suggested revision: for becoming problem-solving citizens Why it matters: For becoming correctly completes the preceding noun phrase after the proposed revision.
- 7. Use a natural phrase Original: The other importance Suggested revision: Another benefit Why it matters: Another benefit is the natural way to introduce an additional advantage.
- 8. Use lowercase Original: Community Suggested revision: community Why it matters: The common noun phrase does not require capitalization within the sentence.
- 9. Remove redundant verbs Original: improve and develop self-esteem Suggested revision: develop self-esteem Why it matters: Develop already conveys the intended improvement, so improve is redundant.
- 10. Use a stronger collocation Original: get Suggested revision: earn Why it matters: Earn respect is the natural collocation for gaining others' regard.
- 11. Fix the sentence subject Original: By exposing themselves to the community Suggested revision: Exposure to the community Why it matters: A noun phrase is needed as the subject of will create.
- 12. Clarify the relationship Original: will create insight for young individuals for their future careers Suggested revision: can give young people insight into their future careers Why it matters: Give insight into is the correct collocation and removes the repeated for phrases.
Suggested Rewrites
- These days These days,
- services service
- are is
- be part of the solutions contribute to solutions
- create for them the platform provide them with a foundation
- to be problem-solving citizens for becoming problem-solving citizens
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear support for community service and its range of relevant benefits, including responsibility, self-esteem, moral duty, and career preparation. Its main limitation is that several ideas are only briefly or unclearly developed, with little direct explanation of why participation should be compulsory. The highest-priority improvement is to build two well-explained arguments that explicitly justify compulsory service and support them with concrete examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is presented and relevant reasons are offered, but development is uneven and the compulsory aspect of the task receives limited attention.
Explain explicitly why voluntary participation would be insufficient and support each main reason with a specific example or consequence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is divided into logically ordered paragraphs, but progression within some paragraphs is weak and the short final paragraph does not conclude the argument.
Use a clear topic sentence followed by explanation and example in each body paragraph, then add a concise conclusion that restates the position.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to discuss social responsibility and career benefits, although repetition and imprecise collocations are frequent.
Use more precise alternatives for repeated references to community and revise unclear phrases such as receiving the economy or creating a platform.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex sentences are attempted, but recurring errors in clause structure, agreement, and sentence construction reduce fluency while meaning remains generally clear.
Focus on complete clause structures and correct subject-verb agreement, especially after introductory -ing phrases and in long compound sentences.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.