Scientists predict that in the future cars will be driven by computers. What are the reasons behind this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In the coming years, experts believe that vehicles will be driven autonomously by computers. The main reason for this is the development of artificial intelligence that specialises in manoeuvring cars. This should be seen as a positive development because it will prevent accidents and save lives. In the past few years, there has been an explosion in the advancement of autonomous vehicles due to A.I. Advanced computer learning means that cars and other vehicles can move from point A to point B without the need for human interference. Due to the nature of these self-learning computers, the more they drive, the better they become and this will soon mean that it will be quite normal for people to be driven by computers. For example, Google, Tesla, and Apple all have autonomous driving projects, with Tesla announcing that all of its vehicles will be self-driving within 5 years. This should be welcomed because, despite some initial safety concerns, it will ultimately save lives. This is because most collisions are due to human error and as machine learning gets better and better it will completely eliminate human involvement. This will mean that incidents such as drink driving, falling asleep at the wheel and speeding become a thing of the past. For instance, Elon Musk of Tesla Motors announced that its ‘Auto Pilot’ system has logged over 10 million miles with only one accident. Similar distances with people driving would have resulted in far more road traffic accidents. In conclusion, the emergence of computer-controlled transportation will inevitably become the new standard in driving as computers learn more and should be viewed positively as it will improve safety standards.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise wording Original: development of artificial intelligence that specialises in manoeuvring cars Suggested revision: advances in artificial intelligence designed to control cars Why it matters: This phrasing describes the technological cause more directly and naturally.
- 2. Improve the collocation Original: an explosion in the advancement Suggested revision: rapid advances Why it matters: The proposed phrase is more concise and uses a natural collocation for technological progress.
- 3. Name the technology Original: Advanced computer learning Suggested revision: Advances in machine learning Why it matters: Machine learning is the clearer term for the technology being described.
- 4. Choose the right noun Original: interference Suggested revision: intervention Why it matters: Intervention is the natural collocation for human control of an automated system.
- 5. Spell out the number Original: 5 Suggested revision: five Why it matters: Spelling out a small number is more consistent with formal essay style.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: gets better and better Suggested revision: improves Why it matters: A single precise verb avoids repetition and keeps the academic tone concise.
- 7. Avoid a stock phrase Original: become a thing of the past Suggested revision: are eliminated Why it matters: The replacement states the predicted outcome more directly.
- 8. Use a neutral term Original: ‘Auto Pilot’ system Suggested revision: automated-driving system Why it matters: A generic technical description is clearer than a stylised product label in this argument.
- 9. Use formal quantity wording Original: over 10 million miles Suggested revision: more than 10 million miles Why it matters: More than is slightly more formal and precise for a numerical comparison.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Due to the nature of these self-learning computers, the more they drive, the better they become and this will soon mean that it will be quite normal for people to be driven by computers. Suggested revision: Because these self-learning systems improve with experience, autonomous computer-controlled travel will soon become normal. Why it matters: The revision removes repeated wording and makes the cause-and-effect link easier to follow.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Similar distances with people driving would have resulted in far more road traffic accidents. Suggested revision: Covering similar distances with human drivers would have resulted in far more road traffic accidents. Why it matters: The original opening is grammatically awkward because distances cannot be accompanied by people driving.
Suggested Rewrites
- development of artificial intelligence that specialises in manoeuvring cars advances in artificial intelligence designed to control cars
- an explosion in the advancement rapid advances
- Advanced computer learning Advances in machine learning
- interference intervention
- 5 five
- gets better and better improves
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its direct, confident position and sustained explanation of how artificial intelligence could improve road safety, supported by relevant real-world examples. Its main limitation is that the reason for autonomous driving is framed almost entirely as technological advancement, so the causal analysis has limited breadth. The highest-priority improvement is to develop an additional distinct driver, such as commercial investment or demand for safer transport.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both questions directly, maintains a clear positive position, and develops its central ideas with relevant explanations and examples.
Broaden the reasons section by developing a second distinct cause of the predicted shift to computer-driven vehicles.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the technological cause to the safety benefits, with clear paragraphing and well-managed cohesive links.
Make the boundary between the explanation of causes and the evaluation of benefits even more explicit through sharper paragraph focus.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports fluent discussion of autonomous technology and road safety, with only occasional slightly awkward phrasing.
Refine collocations such as references to human involvement or interference so that word choice is consistently natural as well as precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few minor imperfections do not impede meaning.
Polish the longest sentences by checking coordination and reference clarity to achieve more consistently effortless control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Scientists predict that in the future cars will be driven by computers. What are the reasons behind this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.