Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion?
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
With the advent of technology and computers, our lives have totally changed. Today, we see computers being used in every sphere of life; be it, at offices to store massive data; be it, at colleges to help research works or by housewives to learn new recipes. Though admittedly, use of computers can also be done in negative ways, but I think there are more pros than cons, and computers have certainly made lives easier for everyone. With computers, access to information has become very easy. It is immensely helping financial institutions, police department and big businesses to store and use data for constructive purposes. In earlier days, all the business transactional data was in form of files and managing these files and searching for information was a cumbersome task. Computers have also helped students in a great way. Now, instead of going to teachers, they can browse for information online. They can find multiple research papers and discussion forum online. For instance, when I was studying for MBA, I finished my secondary research on the internet and read about 100 online books to complete my thesis. I could study at my own pace and in a comfortable home environment. Another area where computers have helped us is in the communication field. It enables us to keep in touch with our loved once by means of internet chats, video calls like skype, VOIP, social networking sites and various applications. Though I agree, we can contact each other by phone also, but phone calls are quite expensive especially international calls, but now we can contact out family and friends; and often see them without spending the extra penny. Emails have revolutionised the business communication world and aptly made them a formal mode of communication and documentation. But, in my views, the most significant use of computers have been applied in the field of scientific research like building satellites, thermal power plants and in defence operation. We can now predict weather and natural calamities and hence take precautionary steps to save human lives. Computers have successfully forecasted cyclones like Katrina, Praline, Tsunami etc. and timely evacuation was made to save thousands of human lives. Similarly, computers also play vital roles in the military operations; where most of the weapons are controlled by computers and hence helps in safeguarding the country. In a nutshell, computers have become a crucial part of our lives. It is rightly said that the world is constantly shrinking and everyone is getting close to each other by use of computers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise degree Original: totally changed Suggested revision: changed substantially Why it matters: 'Substantially' gives the claim a more precise academic tone.
- 2. Remove double concession Original: Though admittedly Suggested revision: Admittedly Why it matters: Using both 'though' and 'but' creates a redundant concessive structure.
- 3. Fix passive construction Original: use of computers can also be done in negative ways Suggested revision: computers can also be used in harmful ways Why it matters: The revised passive structure is grammatical and more direct.
- 4. Use general expression Original: made lives easier Suggested revision: made life easier Why it matters: The singular uncountable form is more natural when referring to life in general.
- 5. Clarify reference and tense Original: It is immensely helping Suggested revision: This access greatly helps Why it matters: The revision supplies a clear subject and uses the simple present for a general effect.
- 6. Use plural institution Original: police department Suggested revision: police departments Why it matters: The general reference should use the plural form alongside other plural institutions.
- 7. Use noun modifier Original: business transactional data Suggested revision: business transaction data Why it matters: 'Transaction' is the natural noun modifier for this type of data.
- 8. Fix storage phrase Original: was in form of files Suggested revision: was stored in files Why it matters: The revision states clearly and grammatically how the data was kept.
- 9. Use concise adverb Original: helped students in a great way Suggested revision: greatly helped students Why it matters: The adverb expresses the same degree more concisely.
- 10. Add article Original: studying for MBA Suggested revision: studying for an MBA Why it matters: The initial vowel sound in 'MBA' requires the article 'an'.
- 11. Use research collocation Original: finished my secondary research Suggested revision: conducted my secondary research Why it matters: Research is normally 'conducted' rather than 'finished'.
- 12. Match plural antecedent Original: It enables us Suggested revision: They enable us Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the plural antecedent 'computers'.
Suggested Rewrites
- totally changed changed substantially
- Though admittedly Admittedly
- use of computers can also be done in negative ways computers can also be used in harmful ways
- made lives easier made life easier
- It is immensely helping This access greatly helps
- police department police departments
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear favourable opinion and develops it through relevant examples from information access, education, communication, and scientific work. Its main weakness is that the lengthy response lacks visible paragraphing and contains recurring grammatical and lexical inaccuracies, which reduce polish despite clear meaning. The highest priority is to divide the argument into focused paragraphs and edit each sentence for agreement, prepositions, and precise word choice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear opinion is maintained and supported by several relevant, developed reasons showing how computers make life easier.
Acknowledge and evaluate the claimed complexity or stress more specifically before confirming why the benefits outweigh it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through distinct areas of benefit and linking is generally clear, but the entire essay forms one long paragraph and some transitions are repetitive.
Use separate body paragraphs with one controlling idea each and reduce repeated connectors such as but and though.
Lexical Resource
The response displays a reasonably wide vocabulary for technology, communication, and research, although collocation and word-choice errors occur regularly.
Improve precision by correcting expressions such as research works, loved once, and in my views.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys meaning clearly, but agreement, article, pronoun, and sentence-boundary errors are frequent.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and clause control, especially in long sentences containing multiple coordinating conjunctions.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.