Hunting animals is one of the mankind’s earliest instincts and, therefore, should not be restricted. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Since the very beginning of the human civilisation, the creatures which lack intelligencelack in intelligence and power have been dominatedare being dominated by their counterparts. For agesApparently, since ages, human beings have been hunting animals and this trend has not stopped to this daytill date. Although contested by many, it is argued that hunting should be bannedthe hunting should be banned with immediate effectwith an immediate effect. Hunting is consideredThe hunting is considered both an immoral and an unethical practiceboth as immoral and unethical practice. Hunting not only drives some species to extinctionmakes few species extinct but also affects the dairy industry of the country. Firstly, there are a few species which are already very small in numbervery limited in numbers. Thus, hunting such animals will make them extinct. Take tigers, for example. A survey conducted by the forest department of India shows that currently there are only about 2,000 tigers2000 odd tigers left in India, compared to about 3,5003500 odd in 2014. This exponentially decreasing count of tigers clearly shows that if hunting is not stopped, our next generation might just be left with only images of tigers. Moreover, the Indian economy is highly dependent on the dairy industry. Thus, any impact on this industry will directly affect the economy of the country. Indubitably, the act of hunting is doing no good for the dairy industry. For example, if the count of the milk producing cattle decreasesis decreased, automatically the production of dairy products would also be reduced. Thus, it is quite evident how a ban on hunting would supportcatalyse the dairy industry, and in turn, the Indian economy. After analysing the above points, we can safely conclude that although, since ages human beings have kept themselves engaged in the act of hunting, the same has numerous detrimental effects as well. In order to effectively address those issues, the hunting should be stopped immediately. It is also believed that considering the negative impact of hunting, in the foreseeable future, individuals would refrain fromrefrain themselves from this act.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear opposition to unrestricted hunting and develops the extinction argument with a relevant example. Its main weakness is that the dairy-industry discussion rests on a doubtful connection between hunting and milk-producing cattle, while the single-block organisation and recurring language errors reduce polish. Prioritise a more defensible second reason, then separate the argument into purposeful paragraphs and edit article, preposition, and reflexive-pronoun use.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and the extinction argument is developed, but the dairy-industry claim is only partly convincing and weakens the support.
Replace the dairy example with a directly relevant consequence of hunting, such as ecological imbalance or animal-welfare harm, and explain it fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a broadly logical sequence and linking is clear, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens organisation and makes transitions mechanical.
Use distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with each body paragraph centred on one clearly developed reason.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonably wide formal vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations such as since ages and catalyse the dairy industry recur.
Prioritise natural collocations and precise word choice, especially when describing trends, economic effects, and restrictions on hunting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted successfully enough for meaning to remain clear, although article, preposition, tense, and reflexive-pronoun errors recur.
Edit recurring forms such as the hunting, lack in, are being dominated, and refrain themselves, then check article use throughout.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Hunting animals is one of the mankind’s earliest instincts and, therefore, should not be restricted. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.