Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potential. How could computers be considered a hindrance or a potential for the human?
Sample Response
The computer is a basic necessity in our day to day life. It provides tremendous helpa tremendous help in almost all areas such as banking, IT, healthcarehospitals, sales etc. We are in the 17th year of the 21st century and blessed with high-end automated machinery which actually has increased human potential, and at the same time, it has also had a negative impacthas given negative impact too. People are accustomed to using computershabituated of computers which have made them lazy and less flexiblelazy, less flexible. They get tired easily while doing physical work, because they have less physical staminabecause of less stamina in their bodies and they are prone to developing health problemsprone to attract many diseases. For example,For an example backache, knee painknee-ache caused by poor sitting posturebecause of sitting posture, poor writing skills, weakerless manual skills in daily life etc. are the results of our dependencedependency on computers. Moreover, because of computer use, peoplebecause of this machinery, they have stopped socialising, communicating and networking with others. Those who have an addiction toof using computers in their leisure time hardly spend time with family and friendsfamily, friends. It hinders the proper growth of kids, instead of outdoor activity kids prefer to use video games, paper-pen has been replaced by word-pad and notepad, but some or other way we are compromising with are health by using this. Therefore, I truly agree that computers have provided such a comfortable and easy life to us, but if it’s on the cost of health issues, it’s not at all acceptable. This strategy is a serious threat to the human being and put us in the dark. We should always remember health is wealth and should be able to manage a healthy work culture.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response gives several concrete ways computers may harm health, practical skills, and social interaction, and its overall concern is clear. However, the benefits are only mentioned in a brief list, the essay has no paragraph structure, and frequent collocation, grammar, and punctuation errors make several long sentences difficult to follow. Develop one specific example of increased human potential, organise the two sides separately, and favour shorter, accurately constructed sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Computer-related harms are explained through several relevant examples, but the potential benefits are only asserted through a short list and receive little development.
Explain one specific benefit, such as how computers improve medical diagnosis or banking efficiency, and compare it directly with a hindrance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves broadly from benefits to several disadvantages and a final judgement, but one-block presentation, run-on sentences, and loose reference weaken progression.
Use an introduction, one paragraph for each side, and a concise conclusion with one controlling idea per sentence.
Lexical Resource
There is some range for discussing technology, health, and social behaviour, but frequent inaccurate combinations such as ‘habituated of computers’, ‘prone to attract diseases’, and ‘on the cost of’ reduce clarity.
Replace these with standard expressions such as ‘dependent on computers’, ‘prone to developing illnesses’, and ‘at the cost of’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, clause boundaries, pronouns, and verb patterns often make them difficult to follow.
Write shorter clauses with clear subjects and verbs, then check punctuation and agreement before combining ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potential. How could computers be considered a hindrance or a potential for the human?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.