The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In today's world, the use of computers is ever increasing.It is one of the most important things in human life. It became a common part of modern society. Scientists think that it will become smarter than human. Some people discover that it is a positive trend, but others have a negative attitude towards this dependency on computers. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of such a measure. One of the main beneficial developments of computers is that it made life easier and more convenient for everybody. For example, it is comfortable to sit at home and do research on the internet with your computer. Your computer is open 24 hours a day, unlike a library or office. In addition, computer technology can connect workers in different countries. Workers can communicate via email, online networks, and video conferencing. It gives people to save their time and money. Computers have automated the offices, education, banking, even the advancement of treatment and crime detection were possible due to the powerful computer technology. These examples make it clear that it is a positive increase in human life. On the other hand, this development has its disadvantages. It can lead to the loss of the balance in society. For instance, offices will be disappearing in the future and virtual online offices may replace them. Therefore, people will become very lazy which is crucial to the way in which human develop without socialisation skills. They move toward the creation of higher unemployment. That's way there will appear two groups: humans and computer technologies. To conclude, it is the beneficial development for human life, however, it impacts badly as well. I strongly believe that there are many advantages in the way of development and we should take advantages of it. We have made the computers and as human, we will control them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use present perfect Original: It became a common part Suggested revision: It has become a common part Why it matters: The present perfect connects the past change to the current situation.
- 2. Use plural humans Original: human Suggested revision: humans Why it matters: The comparison refers to human beings generally, so the plural noun is required.
- 3. Use believe Original: discover Suggested revision: believe Why it matters: People hold or express an opinion; they do not “discover” that a trend is positive.
- 4. Use dependence Original: dependency Suggested revision: dependence Why it matters: “Dependence” is the natural noun for reliance on computers in this context.
- 5. Name development Original: such a measure Suggested revision: this development Why it matters: Increasing computer intelligence is a development, not a policy measure.
- 6. Use benefits Original: beneficial developments of computers Suggested revision: benefits of computers Why it matters: This concise phrase expresses the intended advantage naturally.
- 7. Fix pronoun and tense Original: it made life Suggested revision: they have made life Why it matters: The plural subject “computers” requires “they,” and the present perfect fits an ongoing effect.
- 8. Use available Original: Your computer is open Suggested revision: A computer is available Why it matters: A service or resource is available; a computer is not “open” for 24 hours.
- 9. Use allows Original: gives Suggested revision: allows Why it matters: “Allow” takes an object followed by an infinitive; “give” does not fit this structure.
- 10. Use positive development Original: a positive increase in human life Suggested revision: a positive development in people's lives Why it matters: “Increase” does not name the qualitative improvement being described.
- 11. Remove articles Original: the loss of the balance in society Suggested revision: a loss of balance in society Why it matters: The abstract noun “balance” does not need “the” in this general statement.
- 12. Use may disappear Original: will be disappearing Suggested revision: may disappear Why it matters: The modal form expresses the predicted possibility more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- It became a common part It has become a common part
- human humans
- discover believe
- dependency dependence
- such a measure this development
- beneficial developments of computers benefits of computers
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay has a recognisable benefits-and-drawbacks structure and states a positive overall view, with practical examples showing familiarity with computer technology. Its central limitation is relevance: most discussion concerns ordinary computer use rather than the consequences of computers becoming more intelligent than humans, and the negative case becomes unclear. Rebuild both body paragraphs around superhuman computer intelligence, using one clearly explained benefit and risk before justifying the final opinion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both positive and negative ideas and an opinion are present, but the response only partly addresses the predicted superiority of computer intelligence and relies mainly on general technology benefits.
Explain specifically how computers exceeding human intelligence could help society and create risks, then support each side with a relevant causal example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic signposting separates the positive and negative discussion, but the one-block format and unclear progression in the disadvantage section weaken coherence.
Use distinct introduction, benefit, risk, and conclusion paragraphs, with each body paragraph following one clear idea-explanation-example sequence.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers several technology topics, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations limit precision and sometimes obscure the intended claim.
Replace vague phrases such as positive increase, loss of the balance, and impacts badly with precise terms for efficiency, dependence, displacement, and control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence types is attempted, but frequent errors in tense, articles, agreement, word forms, and clause construction reduce accuracy.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement and complete clause structure, and keep general claims consistently in the present or future tense.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.