As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.
Sample Response
Some people believe the role of teachers started to fade because computers have been helping some students to progress in their studies quicker compared to studies in an original classroom. For example, in the same classroom, students have different intellectual capacities, thus some would be tied to a slow advance in their studies because of others’ incapability of understanding. In this way, pupils could progress in their acquisition of knowledge at their own pace using computers instead of learning from teachers.
However, the presence of a teacher is essential for students because the human contact influences them in positive ways. Firstly, students realize that they are not dealing with a machine but with a human being who deserves attention and respect. They also learn the importance of studying in a group and respect for other students, which helps them improve their social skills.
Moreover, teachers are required in the learning process because they acknowledge some students’ deficiencies and help them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving extra exercises or even suggesting a private tutor. Hence, students can have a better chance of avoiding a failure in a subject.
In conclusion, the role for teachers in the learning process is still very important and it will continue to be such in the future because no machine can replace the human interaction and its consequences.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the tense Original: started to fade Suggested revision: has started to fade Why it matters: The present perfect better connects this past development with the current situation.
- 2. Use an adverb Original: quicker Suggested revision: more quickly Why it matters: An adverb is needed to modify the verb phrase about progressing.
- 3. Clarify the comparison Original: compared to studies in an original classroom Suggested revision: than they do in a traditional classroom Why it matters: This wording makes the comparison grammatical and identifies the classroom setting naturally.
- 4. Fix the comma splice Original: capacities, thus Suggested revision: capacities; thus Why it matters: A semicolon correctly separates the two independent clauses.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: be tied to a slow advance Suggested revision: be limited to slower progress Why it matters: The original phrase is unnatural for describing the pace of learning.
- 6. Clarify the reference Original: others’ incapability of understanding Suggested revision: other students’ difficulty in understanding Why it matters: This wording identifies the people concerned and expresses the difficulty more naturally.
- 7. Make the phrase concise Original: progress in their acquisition of knowledge Suggested revision: acquire knowledge Why it matters: The direct verb conveys the same meaning more clearly and concisely.
- 8. Remove the article Original: the human contact Suggested revision: human contact Why it matters: Human contact is used as an uncountable general concept here.
- 9. Use parallel forms Original: studying in a group and respect for other students Suggested revision: studying in a group and respecting other students Why it matters: Parallel gerund forms make the coordinated ideas grammatically consistent.
- 10. Choose a precise verb Original: acknowledge some students’ deficiencies Suggested revision: identify some students’ difficulties Why it matters: Teachers identify difficulties rather than acknowledge deficiencies in this context.
- 11. Use the natural collocation Original: avoiding a failure in a subject Suggested revision: avoiding failure in a subject Why it matters: Failure is normally uncountable when referring generally to an unsuccessful academic outcome.
- 12. Correct the preposition Original: for Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The preposition of correctly expresses the role belonging to teachers.
Suggested Rewrites
- started to fade has started to fade
- quicker more quickly
- compared to studies in an original classroom than they do in a traditional classroom
- capacities, thus capacities; thus
- be tied to a slow advance be limited to slower progress
- others’ incapability of understanding other students’ difficulty in understanding
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear position and supports it with logically separated reasons about social development and individual learning needs. Its main limitation is that it falls slightly below the expected length and some supporting points remain fairly general. The highest-priority improvement is to extend one or two arguments with more specific explanation while maintaining the essay's direct focus.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained and supported with relevant reasons, although development is somewhat limited by the short response.
Develop the strongest supporting point with a more specific consequence or example and meet the minimum length.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used clearly and appropriately.
Make the transition from the computer-learning benefit to the opposing position slightly more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though a few collocations such as 'original classroom' sound unnatural.
Use more natural academic collocations when describing conventional teaching and student difficulties.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally accurate control and clear meaning.
Refine article use and comparative phrasing to remove occasional awkward constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.