The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
There have been increasing concerns over the negative effects of the growth in consumer goods production to the environment. While this problem can be attributed to a number of causes, many solutions can be proposed to alleviate the adverse impacts.
To start with, the increase in consumer goods production stems from two key reasons. First, it is accelerated by the spread of consumerism. Businesses are fond of this trend as it can help them generate a fortune. However, what the buying culture actually causes is people’s intensifying demands for new innovations and depreciation of their existing assets. Consequently, products which are still usable are discarded rather than recycled, increasing the amount of trash. Moreover, people’s lack of awareness on the impacts of contemporary products to nature is another major cause. Some clueless consumers are over-optimistic, thinking that the clothing item they just dumped will be reused, without thinking about the underlying costs such as energy and harmful fuels coming from the recycling process or the production of their new garments.
Nevertheless, effective measures can be taken to minimize consumer goods’ adverse effects on the environment. First, businesses should opt for environmentally-friendly materials. This is both fashionable for the company as educated buyers nowadays prefer eco-friendly products made from natural materials like bamboo, and help the business to reduce their carbon footprint. Furthermore, an extra tax could be levied on companies which use fossil fuels, and a monetary incentive could be provided for businesses to switch to renewable energy sources. For example, Lego has announced that their first carbon neutral plant will be constructed in Vietnam. Aside from other appeals, the Vietnamese government has strong support for renewable energy development, with generous economic incentives like tax exemptions.
By and large, consumerism and people’s lack of awareness are the root causes of the acceleration in consumer goods production. However, steps can be taken to alleviate the impacts, such as using eco-friendly materials and introducing incentives for green production processes.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: on Why it matters: The noun phrase describing an effect requires the preposition “on.”
- 2. Use precise collocation Original: stems from two key reasons Suggested revision: has two key causes Why it matters: A production increase has causes, while “stems from reasons” is less natural here.
- 3. Clarify business benefit Original: are fond of this trend Suggested revision: benefit from this trend Why it matters: “Benefit from” states the commercial relationship more precisely than the personal expression “fond of.”
- 4. Use formal register Original: generate a fortune Suggested revision: generate substantial profits Why it matters: “Substantial profits” is more precise and suitably formal for an academic essay.
- 5. Use standard term Original: the buying culture Suggested revision: consumer culture Why it matters: “Consumer culture” is the established term for the buying behaviour described.
- 6. Correct demand collocation Original: intensifying demands Suggested revision: growing demand Why it matters: “Growing demand” is the natural collocation, and “demand” is normally uncountable in this sense.
- 7. Remove redundancy Original: new innovations Suggested revision: innovations Why it matters: Innovations are inherently new, so the adjective is redundant.
- 8. Correct awareness phrase Original: on Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The noun “awareness” takes “of” before the thing understood.
- 9. Clarify transition Original: Aside from other appeals Suggested revision: Among its other attractions Why it matters: This wording clearly presents government incentives as one attraction among several.
- 10. Use actionable wording Original: many solutions can be proposed Suggested revision: several solutions can be implemented Why it matters: Solutions are implemented to address a problem, while “proposed” does not show that the measures are carried out.
- 11. Clarify reduced value Original: depreciation of their existing assets Suggested revision: reduced appreciation of their existing possessions Why it matters: “Depreciation of assets” usually describes a financial process rather than consumers valuing belongings less.
- 12. Use academic wording Original: increasing the amount of trash Suggested revision: increasing the volume of waste Why it matters: “Volume of waste” is more precise and formal than “amount of trash.”
Suggested Rewrites
- to on
- stems from two key reasons has two key causes
- are fond of this trend benefit from this trend
- generate a fortune generate substantial profits
- the buying culture consumer culture
- intensifying demands growing demand
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear cause-and-solution structure, with relevant discussion of consumerism, disposable buying habits, greener materials, and fiscal incentives. Its main limitation is that several causal links and examples are only partly convincing or imprecisely expressed, especially the recycling discussion and Lego example; the highest priority is to explain each cause-to-damage and measure-to-outcome chain more directly and precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and solutions with relevant, generally developed ideas, although some causal links and supporting examples are not fully convincing.
Make each cause's environmental consequence explicit and select examples that directly demonstrate how the proposed measure reduces production-related damage.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, causes paragraph, solutions paragraph, and conclusion, with generally effective cohesive devices.
Strengthen connections within the causes paragraph so the discussion moves more explicitly from consumer behaviour to increased production and environmental harm.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and topic-appropriate, but several collocations and word choices, including references to depreciation, fashionable practices, and harmful fuels, lack precision.
Prioritise natural, exact collocations and neutral academic wording over sophisticated expressions whose meaning or tone is slightly unsuitable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, though occasional agreement and sentence-construction errors remain noticeable.
Check coordination and subject-verb agreement in longer sentences, particularly structures combining both, and, relative clauses, and infinitive phrases.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.