It is widely believed that consumerism is vital for the economy well-being of a country. However others feel that consumerism has unacceptable social consequences on a society. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Sample Response

1

There have been many studies on why some economies are successfulhow some economies are so successful while others are still struggling to survive. Many economists advocate consumerism on the grounds that it is the main driver of a prosperous economyprime factor of a wealthy economy. However, socialists argue that consumerism would also cause adverse effects on societyeffects on a society. I hold a mixed viewI am of the mixed opinion.

2

Regarding the economic benefits, consumerism would help an economy to be more sustainable. Lessons learnt from recent financial crises such as the collapse of Lehman Brothersthe Lehman Brothers’ bank or the Greek debt crisisor Greek debt crisis have shown that countries with a large domestic consumer basedomestic buying force would recover more effectivelywould recover better. Nowadays, many governments have chosen to boost domestic spendingboost the internal spending as an important strategy to stimulate their economy. China, Japan and the United States are good examples. On the other hand, countries such as Singapore have a relatively small domestic consumer basesmall pool of local consumers and have to rely heavily on international traderely much on international trading. Those countries are more vulnerable to the health of the world economy.

3

However, in terms of social impact, consumerism would create societies that value economiccommercial contributions over social contributions. In such societies, wealthy people who spend more moneypeople who spend more money such as the rich would be considered to be more important than scientists or artists. As a result, despite some short-term economic success, the well-being of societywell-being of the society will suffer in the long term due to social issues such as the gap between the rich and the poor or a lack of scientific and cultural developmentlack of science and cultural development. People who live in those societies would have more stressful livesa more stressful life.

4

In conclusion, although consumerism has some economic advantages, it has negative effects on societynegative effects on the society that should not be overlooked. Therefore, a balanced socioeconomic development strategy would be of great importance.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.5

The response is strongest in its balanced, well-organised exploration of economic resilience and longer-term social harm, with a consistent preference for balanced development. The main limitation is occasional imprecision in claims and collocations, which weakens otherwise mature reasoning. The highest-priority improvement is to define the writer’s own judgement more explicitly and support it with more precise causal explanation rather than broad country examples.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.5
Scoring rule

Both views are examined in depth and the conclusion gives a relevant opinion, though the initial description of that opinion is somewhat vague.

Next step

State the precise balance of the opinion in the introduction and explain why balanced development best resolves the competing effects.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

8.0
Scoring rule

The essay has clear paragraph purposes, strong logical sequencing, and cohesive links that guide the argument naturally.

Next step

Refine the transition within the economic paragraph so the contrast between large and small domestic markets connects even more directly to the main claim.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

The response uses a broad, generally precise academic vocabulary, with a few unnatural combinations such as descriptions of domestic demand and reliance on trade.

Next step

Replace approximate collocations with established expressions and choose nouns that identify economic mechanisms more precisely.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.5
Scoring rule

Complex sentences are varied and mostly well controlled, with only occasional errors in articles, prepositions, and noun phrasing.

Next step

Polish article use and prepositional patterns in noun phrases while retaining the effective sentence variety.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

It is widely believed that consumerism is vital for the economy well-being of a country. However others feel that consumerism has unacceptable social consequences on a society. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Your response

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