Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and methods of preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is argued that fast food will be more popular in this fast-paced world, and these will take the place of homemade foods and will change the methods of preparation. I completely agree with the statement because people have a hectic schedule and, due to it, less time for cooking. Moreover, variety in fast food makes it change with the staple food.
First off, the Paradigm shift has made the lifestyle of the masses busy, and they do not have time to prepare food for themselves. Thus they more relied on pre-cooked food. So, the demand will mushroom, and this growing demand will make it happen to replace staple food with canned food. For instance, the majority of people work at different places and having fewer culinary skills. So after doing work round-the-clock, they consider eating junk food instead of traditional food. Being easily available at any place, it has raised its demand. So individuals do not hesitate to pay an excessive amount if they get even at any time of the day.
Furthermore, now readymade food is available in different varieties. So, people get allure to relish different kinds of pre-cooked foods. They have more choices than earlier. I think this reason is also responsible for making fast foods popular and people get to know about different cultures and their traditions. To exemplify it, Chinese noodles are used to make it savoury and adding more ingredients, and these are also made nutritious by blending vegetables and fruits.
To conclude. Thus, people fascinate to eat more junk food because of its easy availability, rich taste and nutritious values. So, I think in the foreseeable future, traditional foods will be replaced, and people tend to eat more canned food.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix pronoun agreement Original: these Suggested revision: it Why it matters: The singular idea of fast food requires the pronoun 'it'.
- 2. Clarify reference Original: due to it Suggested revision: as a result Why it matters: The pronoun has no clear singular referent in the preceding clause.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: the Paradigm shift Suggested revision: a shift in working patterns Why it matters: The original phrase is vague and its unnecessary capitalisation is distracting.
- 4. Use plural agreement Original: the lifestyle of the masses Suggested revision: people's lifestyles Why it matters: The plural possessive phrase agrees more naturally with the general group described.
- 5. Fix tense and order Original: Thus they more relied Suggested revision: Thus, they rely more Why it matters: The prediction requires present tense after the modal context and a natural adverb position.
- 6. Use precise verb Original: will mushroom Suggested revision: will grow rapidly Why it matters: This phrasing states the projected increase more directly in formal writing.
- 7. Repair verb pattern Original: make it happen to replace Suggested revision: lead people to replace Why it matters: The original verb sequence is ungrammatical and obscures who performs the replacement.
- 8. Keep terms consistent Original: staple Suggested revision: traditional Why it matters: 'Traditional food' matches the essay's claim more accurately than 'staple food'.
- 9. Use natural construction Original: doing work round-the-clock Suggested revision: working around the clock Why it matters: The revised participial phrase is the idiomatic way to describe prolonged work.
- 10. Restore object and modal Original: if they get even at any time of the day Suggested revision: if they can get it at any time of day Why it matters: The clause needs a modal verb and an object for 'get'.
- 11. Fix verb form Original: get allure Suggested revision: are attracted Why it matters: The passive construction requires an adjective or past participle rather than the noun-like form used.
- 12. Use uncountable noun Original: foods Suggested revision: food Why it matters: 'Fast food' is normally uncountable when referring to the category generally.
Suggested Rewrites
- these it
- due to it as a result
- the Paradigm shift a shift in working patterns
- the lifestyle of the masses people's lifestyles
- Thus they more relied Thus, they rely more
- will mushroom will grow rapidly
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear position and organizes two relevant reasons into distinct paragraphs, so its central argument is easy to follow. However, support is often generalized or loosely expressed, and frequent errors in grammar and word choice make several claims awkward or unclear. The highest priority is to develop each reason through one precise causal explanation and a credible example, then proofread sentence structures and collocations for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement is maintained and supported by two relevant reasons, though explanations and examples remain broad or partly unclear.
Develop each reason with a precise cause-and-effect explanation and a specific, credible example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph structure gives the essay a recognizable progression, but repeated basic linkers and weak referencing make cohesion mechanical.
Use fewer sentence-opening linkers and connect ideas through clear referencing and logical sentence relationships.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonably varied vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prioritize accurate common expressions for convenience food, demand, availability, and consumer choices over ambitious but unsuitable wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and clause construction limit control.
Build shorter complete sentences first, checking subject-verb agreement and verb patterns before adding complex clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and methods of preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.