In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
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Sample Response
Nowadays, a growing number of people are concerned about whether it is more beneficial to changethat changing public parks and open areas into gardens for local residents to grow their own producepersonal plants. Some people support that the positive effects are definitely more than the negativesnegative’s after changing, while others do not agree with that. From my perspective, I disagree with the former view.
First and foremost, changing public parks into growing areasarea for local people can effectively encourage individuals to grow plants like fruit and vegetables, which is useful for citizens to refresh their mindsmind and help them escape from the hustle and bustlefrom hustle and bustle of the cities. In addition, nowadays, people living in cities usually have intensedeep pressure due to expensive rentssince expensive home rent and the anxiety about unemployment. Furthermore, it is also difficult for people to have their own gardens due to limited living space. This is why growing plants is extremely crucial for individuals to be close to the nature and achieve a sense of accomplishment from this activity. If authorities do not provide local residents with more gardens for growing their own fruit and vegetables, people would likely have more mental and psychological issues.
By contrast, there are also plenty of issues after changing public parks and open spaces into gardens for local residents. For instance, if the government cannot separate these spaces clearly and fairly, people are more likely to have conflicts with others and thus become sources of instabilityinsecure factors for our society. Moreover, compared with planting flowers and trees in public parks, growing fruit and vegetables in personal gardens hasgrowing fruit and vegetables as personal gardens have no social functions for the whole citycities. Most people would lose the chance to enjoy nature and unwindenjoy the nature and their relaxation. Meanwhile, it is extremely necessary to highlight that in some big cities, there are a huge number of population, the public spaces cannot be enough for this changing. As a result, more local residents would neither have their own gardens nor have access to public parksnor the public parks to have a good rest. It is unsurprising that this changing can have more negative impacts than positive ones.positive.
In summary, although changing public spaces for local residents to grow their own fruit and vegetables has some advantages, I believe that social conflicts, limited spaces and functional requirements can also be the evidence that it would result in more negative effects.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear position throughout and successfully addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of converting public parks into community vegetable gardens. While main arguments are logically supported, the response is limited by frequent grammatical inaccuracies and awkward word choices that occasionally disrupt flow. To achieve a higher score, focus on improving grammatical control and refining vocabulary precision for more natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the prompt by evaluating both sides and maintaining a consistent position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Ensure all supporting points directly reinforce the main stance with realistic, highly relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is used logically, and ideas progress clearly throughout the essay despite occasional mechanical linking phrases.
Vary cohesive devices and improve referencing to make transitions between ideas feel more natural.
Lexical Resource
An adequate vocabulary range is demonstrated, though word choice errors and unnatural expressions occur periodically.
Focus on precise collocations and avoid awkward phrasing such as using nominal forms like 'this changing'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used, but grammatical errors in agreement, preposition use, and sentence construction are frequent.
Practice checking subject-verb agreement and complex sentence boundaries to reduce minor grammatical errors.