Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
A rapidly evolving world necessitates fundamental changes to educational institutions. While traditional subjects like mathematics, science, and literature are undoubtedly important, I strongly believe that schools should also incorporate practical skills such as cookery, dressmaking, and woodworking into their curricula.
On the one hand, teaching practical skills at home enables students to acquire essential life skills that are often overlooked in traditional academic settings. For instance, many parents consider it a responsibility to teach their children knowledge of nutrition, meal planning, and culinary techniques. By learning to prepare their own meals, young people can gain a deep understanding of healthy eating habits, portion control, and the value of balanced nutrition. These skills not only contribute to their physical well-being but also empower them to make informed choices about their diet, leading to a lifelong impact on their health. This process is best done in families where habits can form in the long-term.
However, incorporating practical skills into the curriculum promotes a well-rounded education catering to diverse needs and interests. Not all students excel in academics, and by providing alternatives, schools can tap into the potential of students who might otherwise feel marginalized or disengaged. For example, a student who struggles with academic subjects might discover a natural talent and passion for woodworking. By nurturing their interest and providing opportunities to develop their woodworking skills, the student gains a feeling of purpose and accomplishment, boosting their overall engagement and motivation. In a fashion class, a student can learn to design, measure, cut, and sew garments. Both classes instill a sense of pride if students can produce useful wood objects or wear garments they have crafted themselves.
In conclusion, rather than relying on families, schools should prioritize incorporating practical skills into the curriculum while also maintaining rigorous standards for the current core subjects. By doing so, students will have a more comprehensive education that equips them with both theoretical knowledge and practical expertise.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix verb collocation Original: teach their children knowledge of nutrition Suggested revision: teach their children about nutrition Why it matters: People are taught about a subject, while 'teach knowledge of' is not natural in this structure.
- 2. Use concise phrasing Original: leading to a lifelong impact on their health Suggested revision: with lifelong effects on their health Why it matters: The replacement expresses the long-term result more directly and avoids the heavy 'leading to an impact' construction.
- 3. Remove incorrect hyphen Original: in the long-term Suggested revision: in the long term Why it matters: The noun phrase 'the long term' is not hyphenated after a preposition.
- 4. Clarify relative clause Original: education catering to Suggested revision: education that caters to Why it matters: An explicit relative clause makes clear that the education serves diverse needs and interests.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: excel in academics Suggested revision: excel academically Why it matters: The adverb expresses performance in academic work more naturally.
- 6. Restore parallel complements Original: a natural talent and passion for woodworking Suggested revision: a natural talent for and passion for woodworking Why it matters: Both coordinated nouns need the preposition 'for' to express their relationship to woodworking clearly.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: Both classes Suggested revision: These practical classes Why it matters: The replacement makes the reference to the woodworking and fashion examples explicit.
- 8. Use adjective form Original: wood Suggested revision: wooden Why it matters: 'Wooden' is the natural adjective for objects made from wood.
- 9. Use precise wording Original: current Suggested revision: existing Why it matters: 'Existing' clearly identifies the subjects already in the curriculum.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: By nurturing their interest and providing opportunities to develop their woodworking skills, the student gains a feeling of purpose and accomplishment, boosting their overall engagement and motivation. Suggested revision: When schools nurture students' interests and provide opportunities to develop their woodworking skills, students gain a sense of purpose and accomplishment, which boosts their overall engagement and motivation. Why it matters: The rewrite gives the introductory actions a clear subject and maintains consistent plural reference.
- 11. Connect the examples Suggested revision: Group the woodworking and fashion examples under a clear linking sentence showing that both illustrate the benefits of practical classes. Why it matters: A stronger link between the two examples would make the paragraph's progression easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- teach their children knowledge of nutrition teach their children about nutrition
- leading to a lifelong impact on their health with lifelong effects on their health
- in the long-term in the long term
- education catering to education that caters to
- excel in academics excel academically
- a natural talent and passion for woodworking a natural talent for and passion for woodworking
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear position, develops both the family context and the case for school provision in substantial detail, and uses fluent, varied language throughout. Its main limitation is a slight tension between saying practical learning is best done in families and ultimately arguing that schools should provide it, alongside a few awkward word choices. The highest priority is to frame the family paragraph explicitly as a concession before demonstrating why school provision is preferable.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses the proposition directly, maintains a clear final position, and develops relevant arguments with specific examples.
Clarify that the benefits of family teaching are a concession, then explain explicitly why school provision remains the stronger solution.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised, with focused paragraphs and smooth progression from concession to the main argument.
Make the pivot between the family and school paragraphs even sharper by stating the limitation of relying on families.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, with only a few awkward choices such as useful wood objects.
Refine the occasional unnatural collocation by choosing concise terms such as useful wooden items and established core subjects.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few minor errors do not impede communication.
Polish small details such as long-term hyphenation and article use to make the grammatical control consistently exact.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.