The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?
Sample Response
It is has been argued that the propensity of masses to follow one another could be seen in the increasing number of fashionable items. I thoroughly agree with this statement because individuals get attracted by trendy clothes worn by others to be like them.
To commence with, imitating others compel masses to follow prevailing fashion so that they can groom their personality. They usually follow fashion icons, namely film actors who were stylist attires and improved their image. Resultantly youngsters follow them blindly, and they demand more of those products. In addition, copying others also develop confidence in them. In other words, there are people who develop an inferiority complex due to their complexion and short stature.
Those individuals buy the clothes that are meant for them and particularly are worn by the famous personalities who had undergone such sufferings. Thus, they feel over the moon to wear such type of apparel. Furthermore, to build social status, people follow others. They purchase the same kind of products, such as expensive electronic gadgets that are advertised and purchased more. iPhones are gaining ground nowadays. Everyone loves to have the latest one, especially when his/her favourite star displays it. Then the demand for these products automatically increases consequently its benefits the individuals as well as manufacturers.
To conclude this in consideration of the above analysis, it is ostensible that following others update the people, build their status quo and also increase the demand of products which are in vogue.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove extra verb Original: It is has been argued Suggested revision: It has been argued Why it matters: The passive construction requires only one finite auxiliary before the past participle.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: propensity of masses Suggested revision: tendency of people Why it matters: This phrase is unnatural and overly impersonal in this context.
- 3. Use present form Original: could Suggested revision: can Why it matters: The present modal better matches a claim about a current general tendency.
- 4. Correct collocation Original: get attracted by Suggested revision: are attracted to Why it matters: The standard collocation is 'be attracted to' something.
- 5. Use precise wording Original: to be like them Suggested revision: to emulate them Why it matters: The verb 'emulate' expresses the intended idea more precisely.
- 6. Fix subject agreement Original: compel Suggested revision: compels Why it matters: The gerund phrase is singular and therefore takes 'compels'.
- 7. Use neutral noun Original: masses Suggested revision: people Why it matters: 'People' is more natural and less impersonal than 'masses' here.
- 8. Correct the collocation Original: groom their personality Suggested revision: improve their appearance Why it matters: People can improve their appearance, whereas 'groom a personality' is not a natural collocation.
- 9. Fix verb and adjective Original: were stylist attires Suggested revision: wear stylish attire Why it matters: The sentence needs the verb 'wear' and the adjective 'stylish'.
- 10. Keep tense consistent Original: improved Suggested revision: improve Why it matters: The general statement requires the present tense to match 'follow'.
- 11. Use natural linker Original: Resultantly Suggested revision: As a result Why it matters: 'As a result' is the more natural connective for the stated consequence.
- 12. Correct demand phrasing Original: demand more of those products Suggested revision: create greater demand for those products Why it matters: The proposed phrase expresses increased consumer demand clearly and idiomatically.
Suggested Rewrites
- It is has been argued It has been argued
- propensity of masses tendency of people
- could can
- get attracted by are attracted to
- to be like them to emulate them
- compel compels
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear agreement and supports it with several relevant ways in which imitation influences fashion and consumer choices. Its main limitation is that some ideas are loosely connected or insufficiently explained, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop two central reasons with clearer cause-and-effect support and then edit systematically for agreement, verb forms, and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly agrees and offers relevant reasons involving fashion, confidence, status, and consumer goods, though some support is underdeveloped.
Select two main reasons and explain each through a precise cause-and-effect chain and a focused example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and signposting create broadly clear progression, but the split between the second and third paragraphs interrupts one idea and some links are mechanical.
Keep each explanation within one paragraph and use referencing and logical connections instead of relying heavily on formulaic transitions.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably varied vocabulary conveys the argument, but inaccurate collocations and word choices such as expressions about attire, status, and updating people reduce precision.
Use more natural topic-specific collocations and check ambitious words against their exact meaning and grammatical pattern.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts both simple and complex sentences, but agreement, verb-form, article, and clause-control errors recur throughout.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and verb forms, then proofread each complex sentence to ensure every clause is complete and correctly linked.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.