Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?
Sample Response
In the modern world, many human beings have been living in citiesurban cities of different countriesdistinct nations and these people come fromthese persons are relating to different communities, countries and territoriescountries, territory and so on. Due to this, the world has becomethe whole world becomes a global village. In my viewaccording to my point of view, the government must ensure thatthe public sector has to measure that all people are living peacefully and conflict free and the executives have to take many mandatory steps for this such as celebrating festivals and educating peoplecelebrating festivals, educate people through seminarswith help of seminars, free classes in the local languagefree classes of native language for non- native children and so on. I will explain this in the following paragraphs.
Firstly, the public sector can celebrate every festival related to distinct people who live in the cosmopolitancomposition cities at city or state levelon a city level or state level and also invite them. as a result of it, all local residentsall the native manpower will surely enjoy it with foreign residentswith the aliens happily. they both will communicate with each other and this will promote unitythis way will bring unity in diversity. then all people will live with love and gladness.
Secondly, the free classes for alien kids to learn the native language can be held by the administration through this, the social relationship will become strong between native and foreign juveniles as well as love will increase. due to this, the foreign more youngest can make their future and career bright by getting a job in cosmopolitan cities. by learning the local language.
Finally, if officials organizeif executives will organize seminars or fairs and introduce native residents tointroduce to native human beings with the tradition and customs of non-native manpower, then the country`s residents will adopt the culture, good traditions, good habits and so on. from this way, they will set a standard of love in the whole globe and their sovereign state will achieve a peak of glory.
To conclude, human beings are moving and setting for their native country to foreign territory. due to this process. the globe will become such an era where there only one language or only one culture will be followed.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers several relevant government measures and separates them into clear body paragraphs, giving the discussion a workable structure. Its main limitation is pervasive awkward wording and grammatical inaccuracy, which sometimes obscures otherwise relevant ideas, while the conclusion also conflicts with the essay's emphasis on cultural diversity. The priority is to express each proposal in accurate, natural sentences and explain its practical effect more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly proposes festivals, language classes, and cultural seminars, but development is sometimes simplistic and the conclusion is inconsistent with the preceding argument.
Explain how each measure would reduce a specific source of tension and end with a conclusion that accurately synthesizes those proposals.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is easy to follow, although cohesion is mechanical and several run-on or fragmented sentences interrupt the flow within paragraphs.
Use complete sentences and clearer references between cause, policy, and outcome instead of repeatedly relying on basic sequencing phrases.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonably broad vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate choices such as labels for migrants and residents make the tone unnatural and sometimes obscure meaning.
Prefer precise neutral terms such as immigrants, local residents, and multicultural cities, and check that collocations fit the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but persistent errors in agreement, articles, conditionals, capitalization, and sentence boundaries reduce clarity.
Prioritize accurate sentence boundaries and standard clause patterns, then proofread every sentence for subjects, verbs, articles, and capitalization.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.