Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the World Cup, while others think the opposite. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It is believed that major sports events that are celebrated internationally are not worth the investment. While this argument may seem rational to some extent, I’m still of the opinion that the benefits that these events bring are immensely more significant than the drawbacks.
It is understandable that some people think the budget allocated to these sports events may be squandered. In the end, it is an enormous amount of money that can be a big strain on government coffers. Leaving aside the grand scale of infrastructure that will need to be renovated, events like these require the labor force involved to be skilled and bountiful, in order for the facility to reach its desired quality. The preparation is also attributable to many constructions and changes to the infrastructure. This may cause disruptions in the traffic flow, especially when the host cities are usually the capitals of countries where the population density tends to be higher than other regions.
On the other hand, the financial and cultural profits gained from celebrating these events are deemed to be immeasurable. First of all, big events such as the Olympics or World Cup are precious opportunities for countries to promote international tourism. This leads to a significant surge of prospective customers coming to support businesses and also increases the chance to improve the employment rate when there is a higher demand for labor in many tourism-related industries. Not only that, achievements in sports also represent the talents of the people of each country. In other words, sports are an important symbol of every nation’s pride and culture. Therefore, hosting sports events like these also help unite the spirits of citizens, encouraging patriotism and bringing pride to society.
To conclude, despite some inconvenience that being the host of global sports events may cause to the economy and society, I believe this should be seen as an investing opportunity that can’t be missed because of the good merits that it brings.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: major sports events that are celebrated internationally Suggested revision: major international sporting events Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more naturally and concisely.
- 2. Fix the intensifier Original: immensely Suggested revision: far Why it matters: Far is the natural intensifier for this comparative structure.
- 3. Choose logical connector Original: In the end Suggested revision: After all Why it matters: After all introduces supporting justification, whereas in the end usually signals a final outcome.
- 4. Use formal collocation Original: big Suggested revision: heavy Why it matters: Heavy strain is the conventional formal collocation for pressure on public finances.
- 5. Correct the relationship Original: Leaving aside the grand scale of infrastructure that will need to be renovated Suggested revision: In addition to the extensive infrastructure that will need to be renovated Why it matters: The paragraph includes renovation as a cost, so in addition to states the intended additive relationship.
- 6. Correct word choice Original: bountiful Suggested revision: sufficiently large Why it matters: Bountiful does not naturally describe the required size of a workforce.
- 7. Complete the comparison Original: higher than other regions Suggested revision: higher than that of other regions Why it matters: That of is needed to compare population density with population density rather than with regions.
- 8. Use accurate verb Original: celebrating Suggested revision: hosting Why it matters: Hosting accurately describes a country's role in staging the events.
- 9. Fix verb agreement Original: help Suggested revision: helps Why it matters: The gerund phrase hosting sports events is singular and requires helps.
- 10. Use noun modifier Original: investing Suggested revision: investment Why it matters: Investment is the correct noun modifier before opportunity.
- 11. Remove redundancy Original: good merits Suggested revision: benefits Why it matters: Merits already means positive qualities, so good is redundant and benefits is clearer here.
- 12. Use precise term Original: an enormous amount of money Suggested revision: an enormous expenditure Why it matters: Expenditure names the financial burden more precisely and concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- major sports events that are celebrated internationally major international sporting events
- immensely far
- In the end After all
- big heavy
- Leaving aside the grand scale of infrastructure that will need to be renovated In addition to the extensive infrastructure that will need to be renovated
- bountiful sufficiently large
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response covers both views, states a clear preference, and organises several relevant financial, tourism, employment, and cultural points into an easy-to-follow argument. Its main limitation is recurrent imprecision in word choice and collocation, which sometimes makes otherwise mature ideas sound unnatural; the highest-priority improvement is to choose conventional academic expressions and proofread agreement in complex sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives are addressed and the writer's opinion is clear, with relevant ideas that are generally extended and supported.
Develop the cost argument more precisely by showing why the expenditure may outweigh lasting benefits rather than mainly describing preparation demands.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged in well-focused paragraphs and progresses logically through a clear discussion of costs and benefits.
Replace slightly awkward linking phrases such as 'Leaving aside' with connections that state the intended relationship more accurately.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and topic-appropriate, but recurrent collocational inaccuracies reduce precision and naturalness.
Use conventional combinations such as 'host events,' 'construction projects,' 'investment opportunity,' and 'substantial benefits.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay shows a varied range of complex structures with generally good control and only occasional noticeable errors.
Check subject-verb agreement and article or noun choices in phrases such as 'hosting sports events ... help' and 'some inconvenience.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the World Cup, while others think the opposite. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.