You should complete the task within 40 minutes. Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
The issue of freedom of creative artist has extremely grown in importance in most countries over the few decades. It is considered that government should not interfere with their works and the artists should be free to do whatever they want. While I accept many artists are sharing their valuable ideas for the tremendous development of this world, I believe some certain area they should be controlled by the rules and regulation. Admittedly, the human civilisation has approached this sophisticated stage because many creative artists have bestowed us an enormous number of significant ideas and opinions in the form of pictures, music or films. As an example, many creative artists like Leonardo Da Vinci, Pablo Picasso and Michelangelo Buonarroti had first drawn the design of aeroplane; but, at that time nobody could think that human can fly and everybody thought it was just imagined of his mind. Although it required a long time, but it became true that human now can fly. This example makes it clear that the work of artists can lead to immense improvement of humankind. Therefore, many people think that they should be free with their works for the advancement of the human being. On the other hand, there are some vital reasons why the work of artists should be controlled in some certain area. Firstly, most people in this world believe in the God; so the artist should not create such type of acts, which hurt the religion. If this type of activity they make, it may bring colossal embarrassment to the human society. Secondly, the artist should not go against any culture and costume of a country. In this certain field, government can limit the practice of an artist. In conclusion, the creative artists are indispensable in our society although some artists have tended to draw against our cast, creed, and religion. In my opinion, this tendency may call harmful to our mankind so that the government should control the activity, which can go directly against to our culture and religion.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural possessive Original: artist Suggested revision: artists Why it matters: The discussion concerns artists generally, so a plural noun is required.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: extremely grown in importance Suggested revision: grown considerably in importance Why it matters: Considerably is the natural intensifier with grown in importance.
- 3. Add past reference Original: over the few decades Suggested revision: over the past few decades Why it matters: Past is required in this time expression.
- 4. Use plural areas Original: I believe some certain area they should be controlled Suggested revision: I believe they should be controlled in certain areas Why it matters: Certain already expresses the limiting meaning, and areas should be plural.
- 5. Correct verb pattern Original: bestowed us Suggested revision: bestowed upon us Why it matters: Bestow requires upon before the recipient.
- 6. Remove double contrast Original: Although it required a long time, but Suggested revision: Although it took a long time, Why it matters: Although should not be paired with but in the same sentence.
- 7. Remove extra article Original: believe in the God Suggested revision: believe in God Why it matters: God used as a proper name does not take the.
- 8. Correct word choice Original: costume Suggested revision: customs Why it matters: Customs means social traditions, whereas costume means clothing.
- 9. Use plural government Original: government Suggested revision: governments Why it matters: The claim concerns governments generally, so a plural noun is appropriate.
- 10. Use uncountable work Original: works Suggested revision: work Why it matters: Work is uncountable when referring generally to artistic output.
- 11. Use achievement verb Original: approached Suggested revision: reached Why it matters: Reach, not approach, collocates with a stage of development already attained.
- 12. Use natural design phrase Original: drawn the design of aeroplane Suggested revision: produced designs for aircraft Why it matters: The revision corrects the article and verb-noun collocation.
Suggested Rewrites
- artist artists
- extremely grown in importance grown considerably in importance
- over the few decades over the past few decades
- I believe some certain area they should be controlled I believe they should be controlled in certain areas
- bestowed us bestowed upon us
- Although it required a long time, but Although it took a long time,
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear qualified position and a recognisable two-sided structure, arguing that artistic freedom supports progress but may require limits around religion and culture. Its main limitation is that support is often asserted or factually unclear, while frequent grammar and collocation errors weaken authority. Replace the aeroplane anecdote with an accurate example, explain what proportionate restrictions would cover, and use simpler, better-controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A consistent partial-disagreement position is supported on both sides, but the historical example is unclear and the proposed grounds for restriction are insufficiently examined.
Use one accurate example of artistic contribution and distinguish harmful or unlawful expression from work that merely causes offence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument moves from benefits to restrictions and then a consistent conclusion, though the single dense block and mechanical transitions limit clarity.
Use distinct introduction, freedom, restriction, and conclusion paragraphs, with one central claim developed in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
There is ambition and some range in vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate combinations such as "freedom of creative artist," "bestowed us," and "culture and costume" reduce precision.
Prefer natural wording such as "artistic freedom," "provided humanity with," "cultural customs," and "cause harm."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts complex structures, but frequent errors in articles, plurality, agreement, word order, and clause construction sometimes strain meaning.
Build shorter complete sentences and avoid double constructions such as "Although it took a long time, it eventually became possible."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
You should complete the task within 40 minutes. Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
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