Cyclists and car drivers sharing the same road might cause some problems. What are the problems? What could be done to solve those problems?
Sample Response
Nowadays, it is common to see cars and bicycles travel on the same road. This may result in a number of undesirable consequences which could be addressed by several approaches explained below.
The fact that car drivers and bikers share the same roadway while travelling may lead to two main problems. First, the possibility of an accident between a car and a bicycle is much higher than when they have their own road, and in case of accidents, the mortality rate could also be greater. Because automobiles are large and able to run very fast, they may kill people when colliding with bikes, which is far more serious than accidents on the street for only bikes. Second, people driving cars would also be faced with inconveniences when they share the same road with bicyclists. For instance, instead of running as fast as possible to an appointment that they are about to be late, car drivers may have to slow down and wait for some commuter ahead riding a bike at their average speed.
In order to deal with such problems, there are two solutions that should be taken into consideration. First of all, on roadways that allow both cars and bicycles to travel at the same time, the authorities should strictly limit the maximum speed as low as 50 kph. While running at such a low speed, drivers can better control their vehicle as well as dodge others, and in the event of collision, the damage would also be less serious. Second of all, it is necessary for the government to build separate lanes for these two vehicles so that their different speeds will not bother each other as in aforementioned situations. For example, on most streets in Singapore, automobiles and bikes could travel simultaneously but there are lanes designated for both of them, so they are able to run at their speed of choice without affecting one another.
In conclusion, when cyclists and automobile drivers share the same road, a couple of issues may arise. Fortunately, two possible methods have been proposed to solve these issues.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise phrasing Original: approaches explained below Suggested revision: measures outlined below Why it matters: This phrase describes the proposed solutions more naturally and precisely.
- 2. Use formal terms Original: car drivers and bikers Suggested revision: motorists and cyclists Why it matters: These terms are more concise and appropriately formal for an academic essay.
- 3. Clarify accident risk Original: mortality rate could also be greater Suggested revision: risk of death could also be higher Why it matters: Mortality rate is not the natural measure for the outcome of an individual collision.
- 4. Simplify the construction Original: faced with inconveniences Suggested revision: face inconvenience Why it matters: The active construction is more direct, and inconvenience is natural here as an uncountable noun.
- 5. State the limit directly Original: as low as 50 kph Suggested revision: at 50 kph Why it matters: This wording states the proposed maximum without the awkward as-low-as construction.
- 6. Use transport vocabulary Original: While running at such a low speed Suggested revision: While travelling at this speed Why it matters: Vehicles and drivers travel rather than run in this context.
- 7. Match plural nouns Original: vehicle Suggested revision: vehicles Why it matters: The plural noun drivers requires the corresponding plural vehicles in this general statement.
- 8. Use precise wording Original: dodge others Suggested revision: avoid other road users Why it matters: Dodge others is informal and does not clearly identify whom drivers must avoid.
- 9. Add the article Original: in the event of collision Suggested revision: in the event of a collision Why it matters: The singular countable noun collision requires an article here.
- 10. Use a formal transition Original: Second of all Suggested revision: Secondly Why it matters: Secondly is a more concise and formal sequencing expression.
- 11. Refer to vehicle types Original: these two vehicles Suggested revision: these two types of vehicle Why it matters: The proposal concerns categories of vehicles rather than two individual vehicles.
- 12. Avoid personification Original: different speeds will not bother each other Suggested revision: different speeds will not interfere with one another Why it matters: Speeds can interfere with movement, but they cannot literally bother one another.
Suggested Rewrites
- approaches explained below measures outlined below
- car drivers and bikers motorists and cyclists
- mortality rate could also be greater risk of death could also be higher
- faced with inconveniences face inconvenience
- as low as 50 kph at 50 kph
- While running at such a low speed While travelling at this speed
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both parts directly, develops two relevant problems and two practical solutions, and maintains a clear progression throughout. Its main limitation is the recurring use of awkward or imprecise phrasing, especially in examples and descriptions of road use; the highest-priority improvement is to choose more natural collocations and express supporting details more concisely and precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through relevant problems and corresponding solutions that are generally well explained and illustrated.
Develop the safety and congestion examples with more precise reasoning rather than relying on broad claims about speed and mortality.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into clear functional paragraphs, and ideas progress coherently with effective referencing and sequencing.
Use a less mechanical range of transitions and tighten a few long explanatory sentences to make the progression more fluent.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of topic vocabulary is used, but several collocations and word choices sound unnatural or imprecise.
Replace phrases such as vehicles that bother each other or drivers who run with conventional road-safety expressions and more exact verbs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is handled with generally good control, although minor agreement, article, and construction errors recur.
Check long sentences for consistent pronoun reference, number agreement, and complete prepositional constructions before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Cyclists and car drivers sharing the same road might cause some problems. What are the problems? What could be done to solve those problems?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.