Many city planners’ new designs include setting up schools, markets and commercial places (like offices) in different areas of the city rather than placing them in a place. Do you think it will help the city dwellers? If so, how?
Sample Response
Nowadays, city planners are exploring plans tonew designs that aim to decentralize services such as schools, markets, and commercial facilitiesplaces, rather than locating them in a single central areaone central area. This essay will argue that this approachsuch decentralization will have several advantages for city dwellers.
FirstFirstly, decentralizing services could reducewould help to reduce congestion in urban areas. When essential services are concentrated in one central location, this concentration tends to attractit tends to attract a large number of people, leading towhich leads to overcrowding and traffic congestion. However, if schools, markets, and commercial places are located in various city districtsdifferent areas of the city, this distribution would encourage peopleit would encourage people to disperse and reduce traffic congestion. This can lead to a less stressful commute for city dwellers.
Secondly, decentralization can lead to more efficient service delivery. In central areas, services such as schools and hospitals tend to be overwhelmed by the sheer number of people they need to serve. This can lead to long waiting times and overburdened staff. However, if services are spread out across different areas of the city, it can lead to more efficient service delivery, as service providers can focus on serving a smaller number of people. This can lead to better quality services and more satisfied city dwellers.
Thirdly, decentralizing services can lead to the development of new neighbourhoods and commercial areas. When essential services are concentrated in one central location, it tends to create a monopoly and discourage the development of new neighbourhoods and commercial areas. However, if services are spread out, it can encourage the development of new neighbourhoods and commercial areas, which can lead to more competition and lower prices for city dwellers.
In conclusion, decentralizing services in different areas of the city would have several advantages for city dwellers. It would help to reduce congestion, lead to more efficient service delivery, and encourage the development of new neighbourhoods and commercial areas. City planners should consider these advantages when designing new urban areas.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its direct position and its orderly development of three relevant benefits, each supported by a clear causal explanation. The main limitation is a somewhat formulaic pattern of repeated wording and sentence openings, which reduces the sense of flexibility despite strong overall control. The highest-priority improvement is to vary the links between cause, effect, and example while making the third argument about competition more precisely reasoned.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully answers both questions through a clear affirmative position and three relevant, substantially developed benefits for residents.
Strengthen the final point by explaining more precisely how decentralisation would create competition and lower prices.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced and well paragraphed, although repeated structures such as 'This can lead to' make cohesion somewhat mechanical.
Use a wider range of referencing and logical links so that effects follow more naturally without recurring formulaic transitions.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is suitably academic and generally precise, but frequent repetition of 'services', 'areas', and 'lead to' limits flexibility.
Replace repeated core wording selectively with precise alternatives while preserving clarity and avoiding unnecessary synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex and conditional structures is handled with strong control, with only minor agreement and reference awkwardness.
Polish subject-pronoun agreement and maintain consistent conditional patterns in sentences describing hypothetical planning outcomes.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many city planners’ new designs include setting up schools, markets and commercial places (like offices) in different areas of the city rather than placing them in a place. Do you think it will help the city dwellers? If so, how?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.