Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What could be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem?
Sample Response
The world's biggest cities are attractingalluring new inhabitants as giant sponges draw water fromthe way giant sponges suck the water out of their surrounding areas. Despite the various benefits the cities can provide, the quality of life is diminished bysuffers under a range ofa diverse set of environmental and socio-economic issues. In this essay, the most prevalent reasons for this issue and viable solutions will be discussed. One of the most critical reasons for the declining quality of urban lifethe shattering quality of city life is various forms of environmental pollutionvarious environmental pollutions. The smog in capital cities and other high-density urban areas, such as Shanghai and Los Angeles,areas - e.g. Shanghai and Los Angeles - has become unbearable for their inhabitants and requiresrequire the undertaking of great measures. Another critical reason for deteriorating urban life quality is rising crime ratesthe intensified crime rates. For that reason, people are living under constant fear and threat, leavingthreat; leaving them prone to stress-related diseases and a higher risk of becoming victims of crimehigher probabilities of falling victims of crimes. For instance, in some of Latin America's biggest cities, it is not recommended for women to walk alone in the streets even during daylight and this city is not alone. For the problems, there are always solutions. Regarding the pollution problemReferring back to the pollution problem, solutions mainly involvethe cure has been declared mainly by the means of cleaner energy and transportation systems. Many so-called 'green cities' like Copenhagen are leading the way in the development of higher quality public transports and prioritising light vehicle traffic. Dealing with crimecrimes is far more complicated. Psychologists believe that a more beautiful, clean and happy physicalexternal environment can reduce crime levels. Thus, this is an approach city planners should examine more closelythis can be something city planners should look into more deeply when planning urban areaswhen planning our urban areas. But most likely, providing people sufficient amount of opportunities and guidance in their lives would be the most effective prevention measure as far as I believe. To conclude, there are many adversities that can reduce the urban life quality such as environmental pollution and crime; however, there are also opportunities and tools to reduce these effects. Mainly, planning our cities more wisely by taking care of negative environmental and socio-economic effects on people's well-beingpeoples' well-being, is necessary and feasibledoable.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both questions with relevant causes, practical environmental measures, and examples that show awareness of urban problems. Its main limitations are the single-block presentation, vague links between crime and some proposed remedies, and recurring unnatural collocations and grammatical slips. Prioritise distinct cause-and-solution paragraphs, explain how each measure targets its identified problem, and revise expressions about pollution, crime, transport, and opportunity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Pollution and crime are clearly identified and matched with relevant measures, although the crime solutions remain somewhat general and weakly justified.
Explain concretely how urban design, employment opportunities, and guidance would reduce crime, with one specific implementation example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a discernible causes-to-solutions sequence, but the absence of paragraph breaks and some unclear referencing weaken progression.
Separate the introduction, causes, pollution solutions, crime solutions, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, but frequent collocational errors such as shattering quality, environmental pollutions, and intensified crime rates reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as declining quality of life, environmental pollution, and rising crime rates.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used regularly and meaning is generally clear, though agreement, articles, punctuation, and clause attachment are inconsistently controlled.
Check subject-verb agreement and remove dangling attachments, especially after smog, a semicolon, and providing people.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What could be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.