It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together.
Sample Response
Nowadays, it is widely believed thatit is argued that families are not as close as they used to be. There are several reasons for this phenomenon, and some measures can be taken to bring families closer together.
A primary factor contributing to this trend is thatThe most important reason is that children and parents are both busy in their daily lives. For example, children have to spend a lot of time studying while parents work long hourswork longer days, and some even have to work on weekends. As a result, household members spend significantly less time togetherchildren and parents spend less time with each other. This leads to less communication between family members. Family relationshipsFamilies' relationships become less close than they used to be. Equally significant is the fact thatAnother reason is that smartphones and social media have become more popular in our daily lives. People may spend more time online. This also leads to fewer chances for family members to communicate with each other.
To address these problems, several measures could be taken. One solution is that people should prioritize shared activities during their leisure hoursspend more time on family activities in their free time. For instance, people can go to the park together on the weekends or have dinner at home. Therefore, they could have more time with their familieswith families, and these activities can improve their relationships effectively. In addition, reducing the use of smartphones during family time is also a good suggestion. If everyone puts down their smartphonesputs down smartphones, they could have more opportunities to communicate face to face.
In conclusion, there are several reasons why families are not as close as they used to be, such as heavy workloads or academic demandsbusy work or studies. However, I believe that spending more time together and reducing smartphone use can help improve family relationships.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay effectively addresses both aspects of the prompt by presenting clear reasons for declining family closeness alongside practical solutions. Ideas are logically organized into coherent paragraphs with straightforward transitions. To improve the writing quality further, focus on enhancing lexical variety to avoid repetition of key phrases and incorporating more sophisticated grammatical structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses both parts of the task by outlining relevant causes of weaker family bonds and offering realistic solutions.
Elaborate on the proposed solutions with deeper explanations of how they directly counter the identified causes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas progress clearly across the essay using basic linking words.
Incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect sentences more smoothly and avoid repeating basic transitional phrases.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is accurate and sufficient to convey ideas clearly, though repetitive phrasing occurs in places.
Use precise synonyms for frequently repeated terms such as spend time, daily lives, and communicate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentences are mostly accurate with good control over simple and complex structures.
Try incorporating more advanced structures, such as inverted sentences or conditional clauses, to demonstrate greater grammatical range.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.