Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?
Sample Response
Art has been an integral part of human culture since ancient times, but with the advancement of technology and the rise of business and science, the popularity of art has declined. In this essay, we will explore the reasons behind this trend and suggest some solutions to encourage people to take more interest in the arts.
One of the main reasons why people are turning away from art is the practicality and materialism that dominate modern society. The focus on making money and achieving material success has led people to prioritize Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM) fields over the arts. Additionally, the introduction of technology and social media has created a culture of instant gratification, which has made people more interested in quick entertainment and distractions rather than engaging with art and culture.
To encourage more people to take an interest in the arts, several measures can be taken. First, schools and universities should prioritise art education and include it in their curriculum, which will help to instil an appreciation for the arts in students from a young age. Second, art institutions and museums should make their exhibitions more accessible and engaging by using technology and interactive displays to make art more appealing to a wider audience. Finally, governments can provide more funding and support for artists and art organizations to help create more opportunities for artistic expression and appreciation.
In conclusion, while the popularity of the arts has declined in recent years, it is still very important for us. To encourage more people to take an interest in the arts, we need to prioritise art education, make art more accessible, and provide more support and funding for artists and art organizations. By doing so, we can help to ensure that art continues to play an essential role in our culture and society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise trend phrase Original: the popularity of art has declined Suggested revision: public interest in art has declined Why it matters: The revision identifies more precisely what has decreased.
- 2. Use formal signposting Original: we will explore the reasons Suggested revision: this essay will examine the reasons Why it matters: The revision avoids the inclusive pronoun and uses conventional academic signposting.
- 3. Use natural degree phrase Original: take more interest in the arts Suggested revision: take a greater interest in the arts Why it matters: A greater interest is the idiomatic comparative expression.
- 4. Clarify abstract cause Original: the practicality and materialism that dominate Suggested revision: the emphasis on practicality and materialism that dominates Why it matters: The revision makes clear that society's emphasis, rather than practicality itself, is the dominant force.
- 5. Use precise collocation Original: quick entertainment and distractions Suggested revision: instant entertainment and distraction Why it matters: Instant matches the preceding idea of immediate gratification more precisely.
- 6. Use plural curricula Original: curriculum Suggested revision: curricula Why it matters: The plural institutions are being described as having their respective curricula.
- 7. Use concise verb pattern Original: help to instil an appreciation Suggested revision: help instil an appreciation Why it matters: Help can take the bare infinitive, producing a more concise phrase.
- 8. Avoid repeated purpose form Original: using technology and interactive displays to make art more appealing Suggested revision: using technology and interactive displays, thereby making art more appealing Why it matters: Thereby clarifies the result and avoids repeating to make in the same sentence.
- 9. Use concise arts term Original: artists and art organizations to help create Suggested revision: artists and arts organisations to create Why it matters: Arts organisations is the conventional sector term, and help is unnecessary before create.
- 10. Clarify vague pronouns Original: it is still very important for us Suggested revision: art remains important to society Why it matters: The revision identifies the subject and beneficiary directly.
- 11. Use concise verb pattern Original: help to ensure that art continues Suggested revision: help ensure that art continues Why it matters: The bare infinitive after help is concise and fully grammatical.
Suggested Rewrites
- the popularity of art has declined public interest in art has declined
- we will explore the reasons this essay will examine the reasons
- take more interest in the arts take a greater interest in the arts
- the practicality and materialism that dominate the emphasis on practicality and materialism that dominates
- quick entertainment and distractions instant entertainment and distraction
- curriculum curricula
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay directly answers both questions through a well-organised explanation of changing priorities and several practical measures, using fluent and precise language throughout. The principal limitation is that the proposed measures are presented more as a list than as fully developed mechanisms; the most valuable improvement would be to explain how one or two solutions would change attitudes and participation in greater depth.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and solutions are relevant, clearly stated, and supported, though the three solutions receive relatively brief development.
Develop fewer solutions more deeply by explaining their implementation and likely effect on public engagement with art.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced logically in focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without obscuring the argument.
Strengthen the internal progression of the solutions paragraph by linking each measure to a distinct obstacle identified earlier.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible, precise, and appropriately academic, with strong control of topic-specific expressions and collocation.
Reduce repetition of phrases such as take an interest and make art more appealing by varying the wording where precision is retained.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used accurately, with only negligible lapses that do not affect communication.
Refine occasional long relative-clause constructions so that references remain maximally concise and unambiguous.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.