It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society?
Sample Response
It is true that the number of science students are becoming inadequate in different parts of the world nowadays. The essay below will analyze some explanations for this situation as well as its influence on society.
There are two principal factors that contribute to the common disinterest in science subjects. First, those subjects are often challenging and require a lot of diligence as well as a great deal of patience and intelligence. The number of researches that an average Biology student has to do is more than other subjects with higher level of both difficulty and commitment, which discourages many students from choosing science as their majors. Second, employment opportunities in this particular field are limited and extremely competitive. Although a huge amount of time and effort is spent on science study at school, there is still little chance for them to get a job after graduation.
Society greatly suffers from the scarcity of human resources in science fields. Apparently, as the number of science students is insignificant, other majors such as business or economics become prevalent, hence the imbalance in future workforce. In fact, competitiveness increased due to too many degree holders of the same expertise pushes a worrying number of graduates to the verge of unemployment. Another problem is the shortage of science professionals as qualified employees are low in number. Unless more students decided to study science at university, sooner or later we would have to face a major human resource crisis.
In conclusion, hurdles regarding some strict requirements of science subjects and employment opportunities are factored in a lot of students not choosing such subjects to study, and there are serious problems arising from this situation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural effect Original: influence Suggested revision: effects Why it matters: The situation has multiple societal consequences, so “effects” expresses the intended meaning more accurately.
- 2. Uncountable noun Original: The number of researches Suggested revision: The amount of research Why it matters: “Research” is uncountable in this context and takes “amount” rather than “number.”
- 3. Lowercase subject Original: Biology Suggested revision: biology Why it matters: Academic subjects are normally lowercased when they are not part of a course title.
- 4. Use precise verb Original: do Suggested revision: conduct Why it matters: “Conduct research” is the standard academic collocation.
- 5. Complete comparison Original: is more than other subjects Suggested revision: is greater than that required in other subjects Why it matters: The comparison must be between the amount of research and the amount required in other subjects.
- 6. Add article Original: with higher level Suggested revision: with a higher level Why it matters: The singular countable noun “level” requires an article here.
- 7. Use singular major Original: majors Suggested revision: major Why it matters: Each student chooses science as an individual field of study, so the singular form is appropriate.
- 8. Natural gerund phrase Original: on science study at school Suggested revision: studying science at school Why it matters: The gerund phrase is the natural way to describe time and effort devoted to the subject.
- 9. Clarify reference Original: little chance for them Suggested revision: little chance for science graduates Why it matters: Naming the group removes the unclear pronoun reference.
- 10. Natural adjective Original: science Suggested revision: scientific Why it matters: “Scientific fields” is the more natural collocation for areas of science employment.
- 11. Express low number Original: insignificant Suggested revision: low Why it matters: A number is more naturally described as low than insignificant.
- 12. Show comparison Original: become prevalent Suggested revision: become more prevalent Why it matters: The comparative form makes the shift toward other majors explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- influence effects
- The number of researches The amount of research
- Biology biology
- do conduct
- is more than other subjects is greater than that required in other subjects
- with higher level with a higher level
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear organization and its coverage of both causes and social effects, with two relevant causes and several plausible consequences. Its main limitation is that some effects are asserted through imprecise or awkwardly constructed sentences, which weakens the force of the reasoning. The priority is to explain each cause-and-effect link more explicitly while editing for accurate grammar and natural collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed with relevant causes and social consequences that receive generally clear development.
Strengthen the response by explaining more precisely how science-student shortages produce workforce imbalance and graduate unemployment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure supports clear progression, and ideas are linked logically despite some mechanical transitions.
Use fewer formulaic linking expressions and make the relationship between adjacent claims explicit within each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently broad vocabulary conveys the main ideas, though several word choices and collocations are imprecise.
Replace awkward combinations such as references to an insignificant number of students with natural, context-specific phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring agreement, article, tense, and sentence-construction errors reduce control.
Prioritize subject-verb agreement and revise overloaded causal sentences so that each clause has a clear grammatical relationship.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.