People today spend less and less time interacting with other people in their neighborhood and this has a negative impact on communities. What are the possible causes and solutions to this problem?
Sample Response
In recent years, many observations have shown a negative development that people are communicating less with their neighbors. There are various causes to this phenomenon, and luckily, there are also feasible solutions.
The hustle and bustle of modern societies is the main reason for this phenomenon. More people reported being busier than ever at work and school. Because they have less time to spare, they would choose to dedicate this free time to building connections, taking care of themselves and their families, or learning another skill. As a result, they spend less time with their neighbors. Another reason is that people are becoming more reserved. People value their privacy more than they do in the last decade, which is why they tend to keep to themselves more. For example, many young adults living in apartment buildings admit to not conversing with neighbors for fear of being scrutinized or talked about.
However, there are ways to bring communities together. The first solution is simply to host more community events on holidays. For example, a neighborhood can hold decorating or cooking events and traditional games to celebrate Tet or Christmas. Another solution is to create group chats on social media platforms to communicate. So far, this solution has proven to be successful for most apartment communities. Because the younger generation spends more time on social media, it is easier to converse there. Many people cannot spend time talking face-to-face, but they are more willing to share about raising kids, buying groceries, hobbies, work, or even problems in that neighborhood online.
In conclusion, being more occupied with work or school and being more reserved is why people hesitate to connect with their community. However, hosting events and creating groups on social media can solve this problem.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The noun 'causes' takes the preposition 'of' in this construction.
- 2. Use formal transition Original: luckily Suggested revision: fortunately Why it matters: 'Fortunately' is more suitable for the essay's formal register.
- 3. Keep present tense Original: reported Suggested revision: report Why it matters: The present tense matches the paragraph's discussion of an ongoing situation.
- 4. Avoid unnecessary conditional Original: they would choose Suggested revision: they choose Why it matters: A simple present verb is needed for this general cause-and-effect statement.
- 5. Correct time comparison Original: more than they do in the last decade Suggested revision: more than they did a decade ago Why it matters: The past tense and past-time expression are required for this comparison.
- 6. Use natural time phrase Original: on Suggested revision: during Why it matters: 'During holidays' more naturally describes when the events take place.
- 7. Remove redundant wording Original: create group chats on social media platforms to communicate Suggested revision: use group chats on social media platforms Why it matters: The purpose of a group chat is already communication, so the revision is more concise.
- 8. Complete the verb phrase Original: share about Suggested revision: share information about Why it matters: 'Share' needs an object before the list of topics.
- 9. Match the general reference Original: that Suggested revision: their Why it matters: The possessive determiner matches the general plural subject 'people'.
- 10. Use concise formal phrasing Original: The hustle and bustle of modern societies Suggested revision: The demands of modern society Why it matters: The revision expresses the pressure of contemporary life more concisely.
- 11. Refine activity list Original: dedicate this free time to building connections, taking care of themselves and their families, or learning another skill Suggested revision: use this free time to strengthen existing relationships, care for themselves and their families, or learn another skill Why it matters: The revision makes the parallel activities more concise and precise.
- 12. Use concise degree wording Original: keep to themselves more Suggested revision: increasingly keep to themselves Why it matters: The adverb conveys the increasing tendency more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- to of
- luckily fortunately
- reported report
- they would choose they choose
- more than they do in the last decade more than they did a decade ago
- on during
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response directly addresses both causes and solutions, with clear organisation and relevant, concrete examples that make the ideas easy to follow. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision in grammar and collocation, especially in comparisons and phrases such as share about. The highest-priority improvement is to polish these recurring language choices while preserving the essay's focused development and strong progression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are fully addressed through relevant causes, practical solutions, and supporting examples.
Deepen the response further by explaining more explicitly how each proposed solution counters the corresponding cause.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, well paragraphed, and cohesive without distracting repetition or overuse of linking devices.
Strengthen the connection between the causes and solutions so the response reads as an even more integrated argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and varied for the topic, though a few collocations and word choices are imprecise.
Replace awkward combinations such as causes to and share about with idiomatic alternatives such as causes of and discuss.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex sentences is handled well, with errors occurring only occasionally and meaning remaining clear.
Check tense consistency, comparison structures, and subject-verb agreement, particularly in sentences describing changing social habits.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People today spend less and less time interacting with other people in their neighborhood and this has a negative impact on communities. What are the possible causes and solutions to this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.