Today, the quality of life of people in big cities is getting worse. What are the causes of this problem? Any measures should be taken to solve it?
Sample Response
The characteristics of city life is often posited, closely related to ambient psychosocial stressors and physical environment hazards. As cities have clearly played a major role in the creation of the decreasing level of life quality of the city dwellers, they will form a central part of any response.
Big cities are associated with a high cost of living. Houses and apartments in prime neighbourhoods tend to be much smaller and much more expensive. Goods and services can also be more costly, in comparison with their rural counterpart. The cost of living is barely mediated by average salaries and public transportation, which will constantly put those dwellers under enormous pressure and anxiety at a disproportionately high rate. Another grave problem of cities is the deterioration of the living environment. It cannot be denied that air, water and land are severely polluted in a city. The main causes for this are lack of proper disposal of wastes, large number of industries lacking purification facilities, lack of proper sanitation, use of coal, petrol and diesel which cause extreme pollution, incomplete combustion of fuels and many more. And rising urban populations mean these problems may soon get a great deal worse.
Yet evidences suggests that measures can be taken to make cities work better in terms of emissions and sustainability and make them work better as prosperous and attractive places to live and work as well. For instance，an increase in blue space visibility and availability of green space to relax could help ease mental stress，shifting people from moderate distress into a lower category. All cities can guide urban planning and prevent the expansion and lock in of high-carbon infrastructure or offer complementary measures on public transport, cycling, electric and shared vehicle infrastructure. A transformation in the energy supply mix, together with a step-change in energy efficiency of technologies and change in energy consumption is also worth considering.
In conclusion，it is undeniable that city life, per se, is placing the environment and individuals in peril. Fortunately, society is more aware and empowered to address these issues of urban health.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: environment Suggested revision: environmental Why it matters: The adjective 'environmental' is needed to describe hazards arising from the physical environment.
- 2. Simplify awkward phrase Original: the creation of the decreasing level of life quality Suggested revision: the decline in city dwellers' quality of life Why it matters: This replacement expresses the intended decline directly and naturally.
- 3. Use plural noun Original: counterpart Suggested revision: counterparts Why it matters: The plural noun is needed because goods and services are being compared collectively.
- 4. Choose precise verb Original: mediated Suggested revision: offset Why it matters: Costs are offset rather than mediated by salaries and public transport.
- 5. Fix awkward collocation Original: pressure and anxiety at a disproportionately high rate Suggested revision: disproportionate pressure and anxiety Why it matters: Pressure and anxiety are not naturally described as occurring at a rate in this context.
- 6. Use correct preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The preposition 'in' clearly locates the problem within cities.
- 7. Generalise consistently Original: polluted in a city Suggested revision: polluted in cities Why it matters: The plural form matches the essay's general discussion of big cities.
- 8. Use uncountable noun Original: disposal of wastes Suggested revision: waste disposal Why it matters: 'Waste disposal' is the standard uncountable collocation for this process.
- 9. Add article Original: large number of industries Suggested revision: a large number of industries Why it matters: The quantifying phrase requires the indefinite article.
- 10. Complete the list Original: and many more Suggested revision: and other factors Why it matters: The original phrase lacks a noun identifying what additional items are meant.
- 11. Improve formal transition Original: And rising urban populations Suggested revision: Rising urban populations Why it matters: Removing the conversational conjunction makes the progression more formal and direct.
- 12. Fix noun and agreement Original: evidences Suggested revision: evidence Why it matters: 'Evidence' is uncountable here and takes the singular verb 'suggests'.
Suggested Rewrites
- environment environmental
- the creation of the decreasing level of life quality the decline in city dwellers' quality of life
- counterpart counterparts
- mediated offset
- pressure and anxiety at a disproportionately high rate disproportionate pressure and anxiety
- of in
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response's strongest feature is its substantial coverage of both causes and possible remedies, supported by a clear causes-to-solutions structure and an ambitious range of vocabulary. Its main limitation is that several claims and proposed measures are expressed imprecisely or as lists rather than fully explained arguments; the highest priority is to develop fewer solutions through clearer cause-and-effect reasoning while tightening grammatical control and collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and measures with several relevant, generally developed ideas, though some solutions remain broad or list-like.
Explain how each major proposal would directly improve urban quality of life and support it with a specific outcome or example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from causes to solutions, with clear paragraphing, although some long lists and loosely connected clauses reduce smoothness.
Organise each body paragraph around fewer central ideas and use explicit logical links between a problem, its mechanism, and its remedy.
Lexical Resource
A wide and topic-appropriate vocabulary is used flexibly, but several ambitious collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Prioritise natural combinations such as rising living costs, waste disposal, and low-carbon transport over unnecessarily abstract phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures successfully, but recurring agreement, article, countability, and clause-control errors remain noticeable.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, singular-plural consistency, and complete parallel structures before finalising the essay.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today, the quality of life of people in big cities is getting worse. What are the causes of this problem? Any measures should be taken to solve it?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.