More and more people want to buy products of expensive brands. What are the causes of that? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 6)

Sample Response

1

Currently, the world is experiencing economic development, and manyeconomic development, many products of expensive brands are becomingbecome more popular. In this case, revenue growth and increased advertising are the mainimportant reasons. In my opinion, this situation brings many negative effects onfor daily life and society. The first reason for this situation is that many people are experiencing income growthpeople revenue growth. This is because when people's income increases, theythe may have more money can be used in personal consumption after paying their everyday life bills such as food, water and internet. For example, in the pastin the past time, some people only had enough moneyonly have money to buy cheaper clothes but now, they have enough money to buy clothes which are produced by higher-end brands and loved by them. Another cause is that more advertising increases people's desire to buy products of expensive brands. Because these advertisementsthose advertising usually associaterelate their products with fashion and success. Thus, many people want to use those products to show their success or high social statussuccessful life. I believe this is a negative trend as it can put unnecessary financialfinical pressure on people. Although people may make more money, their spending on expensive products can increase faster. For instanceinsurance, a young personpeople may spend the majority of their income on branded items.majority of their income. As a result, he or she may not havemay can not have enough to pay their basic billsbill. Moreover, the desire for high-end brands may lead to waste. For example, some people may buy new clothes that come from expensive brands even though their old clothes are still in good condition. This circumstance can lead to unnecessary waste. In conclusion, higher incomes and increased advertising are the main reasons why more people want to buy products from expensive brands. I believe this is a negative trend because it can cause financial pressure and unnecessary waste. In conclusion, higher incomes and increased advertising are the main reasons why more people want to buy products from expensive brands. I believe this is a negative trend because it can cause financial pressure and unnecessary waste.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt with relevant main ideas and a clear position throughout. However, repeated structural errors and persistent grammatical mistakes reduce the overall precision and clarity of the writing. To reach a higher standard, focus on improving sentence structure, proofreading to avoid repeating entire paragraphs, and eliminating basic grammatical errors.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.0
Scoring rule

You have directly addressed both prompt questions by identifying causes and evaluating the trend as negative with supporting points.

Next step

Develop your arguments with more depth and nuanced examples rather than brief, generalized scenarios.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, though the final conclusion paragraph was accidentally repeated at the end.

Next step

Carefully check the final layout to remove duplicate text and improve transitions between sentences within paragraphs.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

You use an adequate vocabulary to express your main points, though there are noticeable word choice and spelling inaccuracies such as using insurance for instance.

Next step

Review precise word choices and check for common spelling errors before completing your essay.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.0
Scoring rule

While your message is mostly understandable, frequent grammatical errors in verb forms, modal combinations, and noun agreement occur throughout.

Next step

Practice constructing complex sentences accurately, paying close attention to subject-verb agreement and correct modal verb usage.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

More and more people want to buy products of expensive brands. What are the causes of that? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Your response

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