Some people always want the newest products made by technology. Why is this so? Is this a bad or a good thing? Give examples s.
Sample Response
Since the dawn of time, technology has been advancing. For the past years, it introduced latest models to the public market. It is agreed that some people will always want to buy the newest model a technology has to offer for reasons such as happiness, passion about new technology, status, getting advanced features and socialisation. These reasons will now be analysed. For one, many people want to purchase new things for happiness. For example, my boyfriend has given me the latest iPhone 6 plus from the apple company. It has always been my dream to have this and so this gave the ultimate happiness I have never experienced in my entire life. This makes it clear that buying new products will make people satisfied. In addition to this, it makes people more sociable. For instance, with the apple iPhone 6 plus my loved one has given me, I can now connect to my friends and relatives whether here in the Philippines or abroad through using Facebook, Integra and yahoo messenger accounts anytime and anywhere. It is obvious from this that buying new technology will make people sociable. New technology always comes with advanced features and people want the best tools to do their tasks. For example, a new computer or laptop comes with more storage capacity and other advancement and facilities that often allure a person to buy the latest model though s/he already has one. People often purchase new models of technological devices as part of their status. For instance, someone who has a car that completely satisfies the needs of this person would want to buy the latest model always. They prefer status over needs. In conclusion, for reasons like being happy, advanced technology, more features, ease of use, passion and more sociable, people want the latest products advanced technology has to offer. These reasons are good for some people. So it is recommended to buy newest products as long as you can afford them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural time phrase Original: For the past years Suggested revision: In recent years Why it matters: This is the natural expression for a continuing recent period.
- 2. Fix tense and article Original: it introduced latest models Suggested revision: it has introduced the latest models Why it matters: The present perfect and definite article are required for this continuing development.
- 3. Correct noun phrase Original: the newest model a technology Suggested revision: the newest products technology Why it matters: 'Technology' is uncountable here, while 'products' matches the range described.
- 4. Correct preposition Original: about Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The noun 'passion' normally takes the preposition 'for'.
- 5. Use formal phrasing Original: getting advanced features Suggested revision: access to advanced features Why it matters: This noun phrase fits the formal list more naturally.
- 6. Clarify motivation Original: purchase new things for happiness Suggested revision: purchase new products because they bring happiness Why it matters: The revision states the intended cause clearly and uses a more precise noun.
- 7. Capitalize product name Original: plus Suggested revision: Plus Why it matters: The model name uses a capital letter in 'Plus'.
- 8. Capitalize proper noun Original: the apple company Suggested revision: Apple Why it matters: The company name is a proper noun and does not need the generic phrase.
- 9. Use natural expression Original: this gave the ultimate happiness I have never experienced in my entire life Suggested revision: this has given me a level of happiness I had never experienced before Why it matters: The revision corrects the tense sequence and removes the unnatural collocation 'the ultimate happiness'.
- 10. Use accurate modality Original: will make people satisfied Suggested revision: can make people feel satisfied Why it matters: 'Can' avoids an unjustified absolute prediction while preserving the stated possibility.
- 11. Clarify pronoun reference Original: it makes people more sociable Suggested revision: buying new technology can make people more sociable Why it matters: Naming the action removes the unclear reference of 'it'.
- 12. Capitalize proper names Original: apple iPhone 6 plus Suggested revision: Apple iPhone 6 Plus Why it matters: Both the company and model names require their standard capitalization.
Suggested Rewrites
- For the past years In recent years
- it introduced latest models it has introduced the latest models
- the newest model a technology the newest products technology
- about for
- getting advanced features access to advanced features
- purchase new things for happiness purchase new products because they bring happiness
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay explains several plausible motives for buying new technology and supports them with concrete examples, so the central discussion is easy to follow. Its main limitation is that the good-or-bad question receives almost no evaluation beyond a brief conditional recommendation, while repetitive examples and frequent language errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop a balanced evaluation and defend a clear overall judgement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Several reasons for wanting the newest products are relevant and supported, but the response only briefly addresses whether this behaviour is good or bad.
Devote a full paragraph to evaluating benefits and drawbacks, then state and justify a clear overall judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasons follow a generally logical sequence, but development is repetitive and cohesive phrases are used mechanically.
Group related motives together and use each example once, followed by analysis that advances the argument.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for discussing technology, satisfaction, status, and features, although recurrent collocational and word-form errors limit precision.
Refine combinations such as 'the latest models,' 'technological advances,' and 'become more sociable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the main ideas, but errors with articles, tense, agreement, and sentence structure occur frequently.
Prioritise article use and subject-verb agreement, then proofread each complex sentence for a complete and controlled clause structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people always want the newest products made by technology. Why is this so? Is this a bad or a good thing? Give examples s.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.