Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is often argued that modern life has woven individuals into tighter webs of interdependence, while others contend that recent technological advances have granted unprecedented personal autonomy. I believe that although global networks connect us more closely than ever, the same tools also empower individuals to act independently and control their own destinies.
It is undeniable that today’s interconnected systems create deep mutual reliance among people, businesses, and nations. First and foremost, global supply-chain reliance makes consumers and countries dependent on one another. For instance, a single smartphone can contain components sourced from over forty different countries, from semiconductors in Taiwan to batteries in South Korea. Such complex sourcing arrangements force manufacturers and end-users alike to count on distant partners for essential parts and services. Second, daily use of digital platforms means that individual productivity hinges on shared online infrastructure. When cloud servers or collaboration apps experience outages, entire workflows can grind to a halt, disrupting businesses and personal projects. As a result, reliance on common digital tools renders truly solo productivity increasingly rare.
In contrast, the same innovations that link us globally provide individuals with greater freedom to shape their own lives for several reasons. Chief among these is that remote work freedom enables professionals to choose their own schedules and locations. Laptops, secure VPN connections, and collaborative software allow employees to perform tasks from home, coffee shops, or co-working spaces. Consequently, flexible work arrangements give individuals direct control over their work–life balance and career paths. Another reason is that self-service knowledge access reduces dependency on traditional experts and institutions. By way of illustration, do-it-yourself tutorials on platforms like YouTube teach users everything from home repairs to language learning. Instant access to step-by-step guides and community forums means people no longer need to rely on specialists for many everyday skills.
In conclusion, while the intricate global networks and shared digital systems of modern society undeniably foster greater interdependence, I maintain that the same technologies confer remarkable levels of individual independence.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Simplify the metaphor Original: woven individuals into tighter webs of interdependence Suggested revision: made individuals more interdependent Why it matters: This direct phrasing expresses the relationship more precisely.
- 2. Use a natural verb Original: granted unprecedented personal autonomy Suggested revision: given people unprecedented personal autonomy Why it matters: The revised wording is more natural while preserving the claim.
- 3. Clarify the noun phrase Original: global supply-chain reliance Suggested revision: reliance on global supply chains Why it matters: This structure makes the relationship between reliance and supply chains explicit.
- 4. Use formal wording Original: count Suggested revision: rely Why it matters: The replacement is more appropriate for an academic essay.
- 5. Use possessive agreement Original: individual productivity hinges on Suggested revision: individuals’ productivity depends on Why it matters: The possessive form clearly links productivity to individuals.
- 6. Improve the collocation Original: truly solo productivity Suggested revision: genuinely independent work Why it matters: This is a more natural expression for work completed without reliance on others.
- 7. Unpack the noun phrase Original: remote work freedom Suggested revision: the freedom offered by remote work Why it matters: The expanded phrase is clearer and more idiomatic.
- 8. Specify work choices Original: choose their own schedules and locations Suggested revision: choose their own working hours and locations Why it matters: Adding “working hours” makes the intended type of schedule precise.
- 9. Use concise wording Original: deep mutual reliance Suggested revision: substantial mutual dependence Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same degree of interdependence more directly.
- 10. Simplify the pairing Original: manufacturers and end-users alike Suggested revision: both manufacturers and end users Why it matters: The correlative structure presents the two dependent groups more clearly.
- 11. Use formal phrasing Original: grind Suggested revision: come Why it matters: The revision keeps the meaning while using a more neutral academic expression.
- 12. Align the controlling idea Original: provide individuals with greater freedom to shape their own lives for several reasons Suggested revision: give individuals greater freedom to shape their own lives in several ways Why it matters: “In several ways” correctly previews the two forms of independence developed in the paragraph.
Suggested Rewrites
- woven individuals into tighter webs of interdependence made individuals more interdependent
- granted unprecedented personal autonomy given people unprecedented personal autonomy
- global supply-chain reliance reliance on global supply chains
- count rely
- individual productivity hinges on individuals’ productivity depends on
- truly solo productivity genuinely independent work
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its balanced, well-developed treatment of both perspectives, supported by specific and consistently relevant examples. Its main limitation is that the independence case and conclusion remain somewhat technology-centred, so the final position could weigh the two sides more explicitly; the highest-priority improvement is to add a sharper comparative judgment explaining why technological empowerment ultimately outweighs the interdependence those same systems create.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed directly with a clear opinion and relevant, well-developed supporting examples.
Strengthen the evaluative dimension by explaining more explicitly why independence ultimately carries greater weight than interdependence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without obscuring relationships.
Make the final synthesis more integrative by explicitly linking the competing effects discussed across both body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys complex ideas effectively, with strong control of topic-specific and abstract language.
Refine a few compressed phrases such as remote work freedom so that every collocation sounds fully natural rather than packaged.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with consistently strong control and virtually no noticeable grammatical errors.
Maintain this accuracy while varying sentence openings slightly more to make the prose feel even less patterned.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.