Dieting can change a person’s life for the better or ruins one’s health completely. What’s your opinion?
Sample Response
Dieting seems to be part of our life in this modern society, especially for those who are health conscious. Different people choose different type of dieting methods, trying to achieve what they believe to be good for either their health or physical appearance. In general, most of the people who diet are focusing on controlling their weight.
In our urban society, most of the working class person does not have the opportunity to consume a healthy meal. Their daily meals consist of fast food which contains large amounts of fat and salt. The most significant prove of this unhealthy lifestyle is the weight gain especially among those middle age working professionals. Therefore, most of these young and energetic people have to control their diet in order to stay in shape either for their appearance or health. The most common and proper method of maintaining one’s weight is eating less oily food, preferably more green vegetables, fruits and avoid alcohol.
However, some have resorted to losing weight by taking their diet to the extreme, not eating at all for days. Others will make themselves vomit after each meal. Many others will go for dieting medication and beverages that help them to lose their appetite. These unhealthy dieting will cause internal damage in the long run.
In my opinion, dieting for better health is more important than solely for looking attractive. Individuals who wish to control their weight should seek professional advise if they are unable to reduce their weight after switching over to a healthy diet for a period of time. Losing weight and losing your health at the same time does not benefit any individual.
This essay needs some work. The first body paragraph explains the reason people have for dieting, whereas it should explain what are the advantages or the dangers of it. The second body paragraph explains how to diet, whereas it should present arguments for or against dieting. Therefore, the task is only partially covered here.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessive subject 'our' requires the general plural noun 'lives'.
- 2. Match plural determiner Original: type Suggested revision: types Why it matters: 'Different' refers to more than one type, so 'type' must be plural.
- 3. Fix clause structure Original: what they believe to be good for either their health or physical appearance Suggested revision: what they believe will benefit their health or physical appearance Why it matters: The revision gives the relative clause a complete and natural verb structure.
- 4. Use concise quantifier Original: most of the people Suggested revision: most people Why it matters: Use 'most people' when referring to people generally rather than a defined group.
- 5. Use simple present Original: are focusing on controlling Suggested revision: focus on controlling Why it matters: The simple present is appropriate for this general statement.
- 6. Set off added detail Original: fast food which contains Suggested revision: fast food, which contains Why it matters: The non-defining relative clause adds information about fast food and needs a comma.
- 7. Use noun form Original: prove Suggested revision: proof Why it matters: 'Proof' is the noun needed after the adjective 'significant'.
- 8. Remove unnecessary article Original: is the weight gain Suggested revision: is weight gain Why it matters: 'Weight gain' is used as an uncountable general concept here.
- 9. Make pairing parallel Original: either for their appearance or health Suggested revision: for either their appearance or their health Why it matters: Repeating the possessive keeps both alternatives grammatically parallel.
- 10. Keep tense consistent Original: will make themselves vomit Suggested revision: make themselves vomit Why it matters: The simple present matches the surrounding general descriptions of dieting behaviour.
- 11. Improve word choice Original: will go for dieting medication Suggested revision: turn to diet medication Why it matters: 'Turn to' and 'diet medication' form a more natural expression in this context.
- 12. Use precise collocation Original: help them to lose their appetite Suggested revision: suppress their appetite Why it matters: 'Suppress their appetite' states the intended effect more precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- life lives
- type types
- what they believe to be good for either their health or physical appearance what they believe will benefit their health or physical appearance
- most of the people most people
- are focusing on controlling focus on controlling
- fast food which contains fast food, which contains
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response communicates a sensible preference for health-focused dieting and includes relevant warnings about extreme methods, with generally clear paragraph-level progression. Its main limitation is uneven task coverage, compounded by an inappropriate final paragraph that comments on the essay instead of continuing the argument; prioritise a direct evaluation of how dieting helps or harms health, supported by fully developed reasons and examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A relevant opinion is given, but substantial space explains reasons and methods rather than evaluating dieting's benefits and dangers.
Organise the argument around clearly developed positive and negative health effects, then directly weigh them in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main essay paragraphs follow a broadly understandable sequence, but progression is uneven and the final meta-commentary breaks coherence.
Remove commentary about the essay itself and use each body paragraph to develop one clearly signposted argumentative point.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some effective health-related terms, despite several inaccurate word choices and collocations.
Correct forms and combinations such as “proof,” “professional advice,” and “middle-aged professionals” to improve precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex sentences communicates the main ideas, but agreement, article, number, and verb-form errors recur.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and consistent singular-plural forms when proofreading each sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Dieting can change a person’s life for the better or ruins one’s health completely. What’s your opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.