Dieting can change a person’s life for the better or ruins one’s health completely. What’s your opinion on that?
Sample Response
There have been dramatic changes in people’s lifestyle and eating habits over the last few years. Large numbers of people are more concerned about their health and they would like to do dieting, exercise and other physical activities to present themselves in good shape. Dieting is the activity that is more practicable in today’s world to reduce body weight. I believe that dieting badly affects our immune and digestion system and make us more susceptible to illness. Many people do dieting to reduce their weight without realising its detrimental effect in their body. Firstly they will lack in physical activities and other works that demand hardworking and strength because they are not having sufficient intake of food to produce energy that is required for such activities. This will make them lethargic and their sedimentary lifestyle contributes to weight gain. Secondly, deficient energy in the body will affect the immune system that would show less resistance against viruses and make the human more open for diseases. However, dieting plays a substantial role in controlling obesity and youngsters are more attracted towards this technique of weight loose. It helps them in reducing weight and also makes their body sound and finally helps them gain a good shape. In addition to this, dieting also helps in proper working of various organisms in the human body, that is also scientifically proved. To sum up, I would like to say that dieting has more disadvantages that outweigh its advantages; people with healthy diet and lifestyle spend better life than others. Therefore, dieting impedes the progress of body and increase the risk of attacking germs and viruses.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: people’s lifestyle Suggested revision: people’s lifestyles Why it matters: The plural possessive refers to the lifestyles of many people.
- 2. Use natural verb Original: they would like to do dieting Suggested revision: they would like to diet Why it matters: English uses the verb “diet” rather than the phrase “do dieting.”
- 3. Improve collocation Original: present themselves in good shape Suggested revision: keep themselves in good shape Why it matters: “Keep themselves in good shape” is the natural collocation for maintaining fitness.
- 4. Use precise wording Original: the activity that is more practicable Suggested revision: a more practical approach Why it matters: “Practical approach” expresses a feasible method more naturally than “practicable activity.”
- 5. Fix noun forms Original: immune and digestion system Suggested revision: immune and digestive systems Why it matters: The coordinated phrase needs the adjective “digestive” and plural “systems.”
- 6. Match singular subject Original: make us Suggested revision: makes us Why it matters: The singular subject “dieting” requires the verb “makes.”
- 7. Use natural phrasing Original: do dieting to reduce their weight Suggested revision: diet to lose weight Why it matters: “Diet to lose weight” is the standard and more concise expression.
- 8. Fix number and preposition Original: effect in their body Suggested revision: effects on their bodies Why it matters: The phrase requires plural agreement and the preposition “on.”
- 9. Add linker comma Original: Firstly they Suggested revision: Firstly, they Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory sequencing adverb.
- 10. Clarify intended meaning Original: lack in physical activities Suggested revision: lack the energy for physical activities Why it matters: The original collocation incorrectly suggests that the activities themselves are lacking.
- 11. Use uncountable noun Original: other works Suggested revision: other work Why it matters: “Work” is uncountable when it means tasks or labour in general.
- 12. Fix word form Original: demand hardworking and strength Suggested revision: require hard work and strength Why it matters: “Hardworking” describes a person, while “hard work” names the effort required.
Suggested Rewrites
- people’s lifestyle people’s lifestyles
- they would like to do dieting they would like to diet
- present themselves in good shape keep themselves in good shape
- the activity that is more practicable a more practical approach
- immune and digestion system immune and digestive systems
- make us makes us
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear opinion and presents a recognisable sequence of disadvantages followed by benefits. Its main limitation is that several claims are only briefly explained or are imprecise, while frequent grammar and word-choice problems reduce authority and fluency. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each central claim with a specific, logically sound explanation or example and then edit for accurate collocations and sentence structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, but the supporting ideas are unevenly developed and some claims are questionable or insufficiently explained.
Develop each main reason with a concrete example and explain the difference between harmful restrictive dieting and a healthy controlled diet.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has an understandable overall sequence, although mechanical linking and the absence of paragraph breaks weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, disadvantages, counterpoint, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices such as terms for lifestyle, organs, and weight loss reduce precision.
Use natural health-related collocations and check that each selected word conveys the intended meaning exactly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures communicates the message, but agreement, article, preposition, and clause errors recur throughout.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and controlled complex sentences, then proofread articles and prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Dieting can change a person’s life for the better or ruins one’s health completely. What’s your opinion on that?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.