Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult tobe enjoyable.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some hobbies are relatively easy, while others present more of a challenge.Personally, I believe that both types of hobby can be fun, and I therefore disagree with the statement that hobbies need to be difficult in order to be enjoyable.
On the one hand, many people enjoy easy hobbies. One example of an activity that is easy for most people is swimming.This hobby requires very little equipment, it is simple to learn, and it is inexpensive.I remember learning to swim at my local swimming pool when I was a child, and it never felt like a demanding or challenging experience.Another hobby that I find easy and fun is photography. In my opinion, anyone can take interesting pictures without knowing too much about the technicalities of operating a camera. Despite being straightforward, taking photos is a satisfying activity.
On the other hand, difficult hobbies can sometimes be more exciting. If an activity is more challenging, we might feel a greater sense of satisfaction when we manage to do it successfully. For example, film editing isa hobby that requires a high level of knowledge and expertise. In my case, it took me around two years before l became competent at this activity, but now I enjoy it much more than I did when l started.I believe that many hobbies give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance because the results are better and the feeling of achievement is greater.
ln conclusion, simple hobbies can be fun and relaxing,but difficult hobbies can be equally pleasurable for different reasons.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: hobby Suggested revision: hobbies Why it matters: The phrase “types of” requires a plural count noun here.
- 2. Fix comma splice Original: equipment, it is simple Suggested revision: equipment; it is simple Why it matters: A semicolon correctly joins these closely related independent clauses.
- 3. Vary repeated wording Original: fun Suggested revision: enjoyable Why it matters: “Enjoyable” avoids repeating the informal word “fun” from the introduction.
- 4. Use formal phrasing Original: knowing too much about Suggested revision: having extensive knowledge of Why it matters: This phrase expresses the degree of knowledge more precisely and formally.
- 5. Remove redundancy Original: manage to do it successfully Suggested revision: succeed Why it matters: “Manage” and “successfully” duplicate the meaning already conveyed by “succeed.”
- 6. Correct pronoun Original: l Suggested revision: I Why it matters: The first-person pronoun must be written as the capital letter “I.”
- 7. Correct pronoun Original: l Suggested revision: I Why it matters: The first-person pronoun must be written as the capital letter “I.”
- 8. Use concise wording Original: give us more pleasure Suggested revision: become more enjoyable Why it matters: This replacement states the same idea more directly.
- 9. Use direct wording Original: present more of a challenge Suggested revision: are more challenging Why it matters: The adjective states the contrast more directly and concisely.
- 10. Express accessibility precisely Original: activity that is easy for most people Suggested revision: activity accessible to most people Why it matters: “Accessible” captures the idea of low difficulty in a more concise academic phrase.
- 11. Choose stronger adjective Original: satisfying Suggested revision: rewarding Why it matters: “Rewarding” more precisely conveys the positive experience produced by the hobby.
- 12. Remove wordiness Original: a greater sense of satisfaction Suggested revision: greater satisfaction Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same degree of satisfaction without an unnecessary noun frame.
Suggested Rewrites
- hobby hobbies
- equipment, it is simple equipment; it is simple
- fun enjoyable
- knowing too much about having extensive knowledge of
- manage to do it successfully succeed
- l I
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response answers the question directly, sustains a clear disagreement, and develops both easy and difficult hobbies with specific, convincing examples. Its organisation and language are flexible and precise, while the main limitation is a small cluster of spacing and character errors that slightly disrupt an otherwise polished performance. The priority is careful proofreading to remove these surface slips and preserve consistently fluent presentation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is explicit and fully developed through balanced, relevant explanations and specific personal examples addressing both simple and challenging hobbies.
For further refinement, make the concluding sentence explicitly reconnect the two contrasting reasons to the stated disagreement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically within a clear four-paragraph structure, and cohesive devices guide the contrast without becoming intrusive.
Proofread sentence boundaries and spacing so minor presentation glitches do not interrupt the otherwise smooth flow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural, with effective choices such as technicalities, competent, and sense of achievement.
Maintain this precision while checking small transcription slips that can obscure otherwise well-chosen words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only occasional surface errors involving spacing or character substitution.
Carry out a final proofread for forms such as is a, I, and In so mechanical slips do not detract from strong grammatical control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult tobe enjoyable.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.