Most people today communicate using mobile phones and computers, and this has affected their need to meet face-to-face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
Sample Response
Nowadays, it is the trend to talk with electronic gadgets instead of in meetings. Well, it is a big drawback. My preference is explained further with reasons and examples.
The biggest drawback of this is less socialism. There are many ways to communicate with people, for example, with what’s the app, Instagram, Facebook, FaceTime, etc. This is the easiest and most convenient way to get connected with each other. So people avoid meeting. They try to fix meetings as less as they can do. To add to that, another problem arises less manner in youngsters as they are not used to being accommodated with each other once they meet they feel hesitation. They do not share a good bond. They try to avoid as much as they can.
To add to this, another issue is if there is no internet or lack of availability, communication is not possible. To deal with anyone online, one must have an internet connection. Without that, mobile phones and computers, as well as laptops, are not worth any kind of conversation. Also, there is the risk of breakdown. Also, there must be electricity to use the computer and to charge a mobile phone. If all this is not available, online communication is not possible.
On the other hand, this is the easiest and fast way to talk with each other, who is not nearby. If one is staying out of the country, he can talk with their family members easily. Also, with the help of video calls, they can attend social functions.
To conclude this, it can be said that online communication is good, but there are many drawbacks that bring it down. And overall, this becomes a good to be face to face deal.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise phrasing Original: talk with electronic gadgets Suggested revision: communicate using electronic devices Why it matters: People use devices to communicate rather than talk with the gadgets themselves.
- 2. Clarify comparison Original: instead of in meetings Suggested revision: instead of meeting face-to-face Why it matters: The replacement directly expresses the contrast with in-person communication.
- 3. Use formal transition Original: Well Suggested revision: However Why it matters: However links the claimed drawback more clearly and formally to the previous sentence.
- 4. Correct meaning Original: less socialism Suggested revision: less social interaction Why it matters: Socialism is a political system and does not mean contact between people.
- 5. Correct app name Original: what’s the app Suggested revision: WhatsApp Why it matters: The platform name is written as the single proper noun WhatsApp.
- 6. Correct collocation Original: fix Suggested revision: arrange Why it matters: Arrange is the natural verb for scheduling meetings.
- 7. Fix comparison form Original: as less as they can do Suggested revision: as infrequently as possible Why it matters: The original comparative structure is ungrammatical for describing frequency.
- 8. Specify avoided action Original: avoid as much as they can Suggested revision: avoid meeting whenever possible Why it matters: Avoid requires a clear object or activity, which is missing in the original phrase.
- 9. Fix clause structure Original: another issue is if Suggested revision: another issue arises when Why it matters: Arises when introduces the condition grammatically and clearly.
- 10. Remove vague repetition Original: no internet or lack of availability Suggested revision: no internet access Why it matters: Internet access states the condition precisely without repeating the same idea.
- 11. Correct verb choice Original: deal Suggested revision: communicate Why it matters: Communicate expresses conversation, while deal with has a different meaning.
- 12. Clarify device limitation Original: are not worth any kind of conversation Suggested revision: cannot be used for communication Why it matters: The replacement clearly states that the devices are unusable for the stated purpose.
Suggested Rewrites
- talk with electronic gadgets communicate using electronic devices
- instead of in meetings instead of meeting face-to-face
- Well However
- less socialism less social interaction
- what’s the app WhatsApp
- fix arrange
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response presents a discernible view that the disadvantages of digital communication are greater and organizes the discussion into disadvantages followed by an advantage. However, the comparison is uneven, several ideas are repetitive or only briefly explained, and frequent language errors make parts of the argument awkward. The highest priority is to compare the two sides directly through fewer, better-developed points expressed in clear, controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides and indicates that disadvantages outweigh advantages, but the comparison is uneven and supporting ideas are limited or repetitive.
Develop one strong advantage and two strong disadvantages, then explicitly explain why the latter carry greater weight.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the main stages of the argument, but progression is mechanical and repeated linking phrases and ideas weaken cohesion.
Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and remove repeated points before adding concise logical links.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the general topic, but repetition and frequent inaccurate choices make several meanings imprecise or awkward.
Replace vague or incorrect expressions with precise topic phrases and vary repeated words only when the alternative is accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually recoverable, but frequent errors in sentence structure, comparison forms, agreement, and punctuation limit control.
Write shorter sentence patterns accurately and proofread each sentence for a complete clause, agreement, and correct comparative forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Most people today communicate using mobile phones and computers, and this has affected their need to meet face-to-face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.