Nowadays we can enjoy the same films, fashions, brands, advertisements and TV channels. The evident difference between countries is disappearing. To what extent do you think the disadvantages overweight the advantages of this?
Sample Response
Globalization creates conditions for widening international exchanges, strengthening mutual understanding between nations, expanding cultural, educational, and scientific cooperation between nations and countries, enjoying the cultural achievements of people around the world which encourages the process of modernization and the enrichment of national culture.
However, these conditions also create the possible danger of diminishing the national culture with a negative impact on the prevation of national identity. Through globalization and an open door policy, erroneous concepts and a lowering of ethical standards, a selfish and individualistic lifestyle and harmful cultural products can easily be imported into the country. At present, modern information technology which in the main is controlled by US is hourly and intensively disseminating US ideology, way of life, culture and films across the world. Even US food is promoted so that some people consider globalization as global Americanization.
During the process of economic globalization, inequality between developed and developing countries has been increasing and the gap between the rich and the poor has become wider, most of the result of globalization go to assist developed countries. Globalization does not pose equal interests and risks to all nations. With an overwhelming advantage compared to most of the developing countries in terms of finance and the level of science and technology, developed countries control the situation of economic globalization.
For these reasons, globalization is a fierce and complicated struggle in both cultural and ideological fields. We take the initiative in international economic integration but also have to take the initiative in fighting to keep our distinct culture resisting pro-foreign and cross-bred phenomena, and overcoming the psychology of preferring money over ethical values.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: widening international exchanges Suggested revision: expanding international exchange Why it matters: This collocation expresses increasing cross-border contact more naturally.
- 2. Remove redundant pairing Original: between nations and countries Suggested revision: among countries Why it matters: Nations and countries overlap in meaning here, making the phrase redundant.
- 3. Clarify result link Original: which encourages Suggested revision: thereby encouraging Why it matters: This form clearly connects the preceding developments to their stated result.
- 4. Correct article choice Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: A first mention of one possible danger requires the indefinite article.
- 5. Remove unnecessary article Original: diminishing the national culture Suggested revision: diminishing national culture Why it matters: National culture is used here as a general uncountable concept.
- 6. Correct spelling Original: prevation Suggested revision: preservation Why it matters: The intended noun is preservation.
- 7. Fix article and order Original: which in the main is controlled by US Suggested revision: which is largely controlled by the US Why it matters: The country abbreviation requires the definite article, and the revised order is natural.
- 8. Use natural frequency wording Original: is hourly and intensively disseminating Suggested revision: continuously and intensively disseminates Why it matters: Hourly is unnatural for describing an ongoing general process in this context.
- 9. Correct verb pattern Original: consider Suggested revision: regard Why it matters: Regard takes as, whereas consider does not use as in this pattern.
- 10. Correct collocation Original: does not pose equal interests and risks Suggested revision: does not distribute benefits and risks equally Why it matters: Pose does not collocate with interests, while this wording conveys the intended unequal distribution.
- 11. Fix comparison structure Original: With an overwhelming advantage compared to Suggested revision: With overwhelming advantages over Why it matters: Advantages over is the correct concise structure for this comparison.
- 12. Remove unnecessary article Original: most of the developing countries Suggested revision: most developing countries Why it matters: The general reference does not require of the.
Suggested Rewrites
- widening international exchanges expanding international exchange
- between nations and countries among countries
- which encourages thereby encouraging
- the a
- diminishing the national culture diminishing national culture
- prevation preservation
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a sustained critical discussion with a clear progression from cultural to economic concerns, and its vocabulary shows considerable ambition. However, it addresses cultural homogenisation only unevenly, broadens into general economic globalisation, and leaves the comparative position partly implicit. The priority is to state clearly why the cited disadvantages outweigh the acknowledged benefits and support that comparison with more specific, directly relevant examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses advantages and several disadvantages, but its comparative position is not explicit and some economic discussion drifts from the specific issue of cultural similarity.
State the extent of agreement directly and develop a focused comparison showing why the disadvantages outweigh the benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through advantages, cultural risks, economic inequality, and a conclusion, although some long sentences weaken the flow within paragraphs.
Break overloaded sentences into clearer units and use referencing more precisely to strengthen connections between claims.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary supports discussion of culture and globalisation, but recurring spelling and collocational problems reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate natural combinations, especially around cultural preservation, unequal benefits, and national identity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but agreement, article, punctuation, and clause-control errors recur despite meaning remaining generally clear.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause boundaries, subject-verb agreement, and accurate article use.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays we can enjoy the same films, fashions, brands, advertisements and TV channels. The evident difference between countries is disappearing. To what extent do you think the disadvantages overweight the advantages of this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.