In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?
Sample Response
Traditional festivals and cultural celebrations are on the verge of disappearance in many parts of the world even though they are of paramount importancehave a paramount importance to the uniqueness of a country and a group of people. Globalisation, less adherence to the traditional ways of life and technological developments, in my opinion, are the main reasons for this great shift and I believe that patriotism and respect for one's own cultural heritagesomeone's own cultural aspects could be the answer to this problem. To begin with, New Year's Evethe New Year eve, Halloween, and other Western ceremoniesetc. western ceremonies have become more popular these days than the traditional festivals in many countries. For instance, in many Asian countries, New Year isthe new Year are a more prominent celebrationmore prominent celebration than their century-old festivals. Globalisation, the internet and satellite TV channels have made a lasting impression on young peoplemade a lasting impression on young to accept foreign cultures even more. No doubt the traditional ways of life no longer have an appeal to the modern generation and thus they have become inclined to acceptthey have inclined to accept global culture over their own traditionsones. With regard toIn regards to preventing this development, parents and teachers should teach the younger students the value of their own culture. There is nothing wrong in knowing about the foreign culture but when they become our main culture, the problems arise. As citizens of a countryAs the citizen of a country, we must not forget our history, tradition and culture. Thus the patriotic feelings should be nurtured to be even better citizens and prevent the detrimental effects of alien cultures. Moreover, more chapters on the school curriculumacademic syllabus should be dedicated to teaching the students about our true identity, cultural aspects and traditions. This will create a sense of respect and adherence to our own culture. To conclude, each culturetradition has its own set of traditional occasions and events which should be given more emphasismore emphasised than the foreign traditions. Building up an strong sense of cultural prideacute sense of patriotism and respect for our own culture is required to save our true cultural identity.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both parts of the task with relevant ideas about globalisation, changing lifestyles, education, and cultural identity, and its meaning remains clear through varied language. The main limitation is that the entire discussion appears as one long paragraph, while several solutions remain general and some wording is awkward. Organise causes and measures into distinct paragraphs and develop one concrete action, such as funding local festivals or school-based community celebrations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and measures, with clear ideas about globalisation, declining traditional lifestyles, education, and cultural respect. Some measures are general and the discussion would benefit from more concrete actions.
Add one practical measure, such as funding local festivals or including community celebrations in school programmes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical overall sequence, but it is presented as one long paragraph. Internal progression is still understandable, yet the lack of paragraphing limits clarity and reader control.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is quite varied, including disappearance, paramount importance, globalisation, adherence, patriotic feelings, and cultural identity. Some collocations are awkward or too strong.
Choose more natural academic phrases, such as cultural heritage, local traditions, foreign media, and preserve identity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used with generally clear meaning. There are recurring errors with articles, subject-verb agreement, prepositions, and sentence boundaries.
Proofread noun phrases and check agreement in clauses with plural subjects such as ceremonies and festivals.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.