Aircraft uses more fuel than cars and produces more pollution. Some people suggest the non-essential use of aircraft like international travel should be discouraged. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is irrefutable that the fuel consumed by one long-distance flight is consumed by a car in several years’ time, and the amount of pollution it produces is also more. Therefore, some people suggest that non-essential flights, including international travel, should be discouraged. I totally disagree whit this statement. I feel that even though cars produce less pollution and use less fuel, still we should focus on limiting the number of cars. Discouraging flights would lead to many other problems.
At a time when people all over the world worry about the decreasing level of fossil fuels and global warming, it is right to take action to save the planet earth. However, to simply discourage flights is not the answer. International tourism has become the backbone of many economies of the world. Many countries are earning from tourism. Many people are employed in this industry. Many businesses like hotels and leisure centres are dependent on tourists. So, if we discourage international tourism, it would create new and even worse problems. Many businesses would go broke and many people would be without jobs.
Air flight also enables intercultural exchanges between countries. The advent of cheap air fare makes it possible for people the world over to travel regularly, regardless of the purpose of the trip. Therefore, people have the opportunities to learn from different cultures and have a better understanding of countries they used to be unfamiliar with. This, in turn, enhances cultural communications between countries.
What we should do is to limit the use of cars. The number of cars is increasing at a very fast pace. This is creating too many problems. Cars are using too much of fossil fuels; they are creating a lot of pollution; they are leading to traffic congestion on the roads and they are also causing accidents.
To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, traveling by air should not be discouraged. Instead, the use of cars should be limited.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a measurable comparison Original: more Suggested revision: greater Why it matters: Use 'greater' rather than 'more' after the countable measurement phrase 'the amount'.
- 2. Correct the spelling Original: whit Suggested revision: with Why it matters: 'Whit' is a misspelling of the preposition 'with'.
- 3. Remove the redundant linker Original: still we should focus Suggested revision: we should focus Why it matters: 'Even though' already marks the concession, so 'still' is redundant in this structure.
- 4. Use the proper name Original: the planet earth Suggested revision: planet Earth Why it matters: Earth is a proper name here and does not take the article 'the'.
- 5. Use a gerund subject Original: to simply discourage flights Suggested revision: simply discouraging flights Why it matters: A gerund phrase functions more naturally as the subject of this clause.
- 6. Make the phrase concise Original: economies of the world Suggested revision: the world's economies Why it matters: The possessive form is more concise and natural in formal prose.
- 7. Specify what is earned Original: earning from tourism Suggested revision: earning revenue from tourism Why it matters: The verb 'earn' needs a clearer object in this context.
- 8. Set off the example Original: Many businesses like hotels Suggested revision: Many businesses, such as hotels Why it matters: The example is clearer with 'such as' and a preceding comma.
- 9. Use a formal expression Original: would go broke Suggested revision: would fail Why it matters: 'Fail' is more suitable than the informal phrase 'go broke' in an academic essay.
- 10. Use a concise term Original: would be without jobs Suggested revision: would become unemployed Why it matters: 'Become unemployed' expresses the same idea more concisely and formally.
- 11. Use the standard term Original: flight Suggested revision: travel Why it matters: 'Air travel' is the natural term for travel by aircraft.
- 12. Use a concise adverb Original: people the world over Suggested revision: people worldwide Why it matters: 'Worldwide' conveys the same meaning more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- more greater
- whit with
- still we should focus we should focus
- the planet earth planet Earth
- to simply discourage flights simply discouraging flights
- economies of the world the world's economies
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, consistent position, supported by relevant economic and cultural consequences of restricting international travel. Its main limitation is that the proposed focus on cars does not fully confront the environmental case against non-essential flights, while recurring collocational and grammatical slips reduce precision. The priority is to engage more directly with the opposing argument and express that rebuttal in cleaner, less formulaic language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained and supported with developed points about tourism, employment, and cultural exchange.
Directly explain why aviation's greater fuel use and pollution do not justify discouraging non-essential flights, rather than mainly redirecting attention to cars.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are arranged in a logical sequence with clear paragraph purposes, although some progression relies on repetitive short statements and formulaic transitions.
Combine closely related claims and use referencing more flexibly to create smoother development within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient range for the topic, but several spelling and collocational errors weaken precision and naturalness.
Use more natural forms such as airfare, air travel, and fossil fuels, and avoid memorised phrases such as the final nutshell expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, though recurring errors and awkward constructions limit control.
Check concessive structures, prepositions, punctuation, and agreement carefully, especially in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Aircraft uses more fuel than cars and produces more pollution. Some people suggest the non-essential use of aircraft like international travel should be discouraged. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.