Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The question of whether or not states should be self-sufficient in food production has long been the centre of intense debate, with some believing that countries should produce all foodstuff themselves. Personally, I do not believe states could and should be self-sufficient, since although this can have some positive economic effect e.g. a positive trade balance, it can also bring with it the instability of famines.
Firstly, a country producing its own food has the benefit of reducing the amount it spends on imports, which has a positive effect economically in the long term. This is a huge consideration in nation-states that are still importing more than they are exporting, for money is technically flowing out of the country. This is why countries such as the USA, despite being the most powerful country in the world economically, still rely on a strong agricultural industry in order to keep their trade balance.
On the other hand, food self-production can often lead to famines, for weather conditions can make or break a harvest. In the past, when countries grew their own crops and international trade was far lower, famines were much more frequent as there was more risk involved: a season of bad weather would mean a famine that could last year-round. Importing food from a variety of countries would minimize the risk incurred by fluctuating weather patterns, since risks to crops are more geographically spread out.
Overall, I argue that though there are economic benefits to having a country making its own food, the nature of the modern globalized economy means that in the long run, countries might find it much more beneficial to import their food from overseas.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix food noun phrase Original: all foodstuff themselves Suggested revision: all their food themselves Why it matters: Foodstuff is not used naturally as a singular mass noun in this phrase.
- 2. Clarify modal coordination Original: could and should be self-sufficient Suggested revision: can or should be self-sufficient Why it matters: After do not believe, or clearly expresses that neither ability nor desirability is accepted.
- 3. Use plural after some Original: effect Suggested revision: effects Why it matters: The countable noun effect should be plural after some in this meaning.
- 4. Integrate example naturally Original: e.g. a positive trade balance Suggested revision: for example, a positive trade balance Why it matters: The written-out connector fits the sentence more smoothly and includes the needed punctuation.
- 5. Express famine risk Original: the instability of famines Suggested revision: the risk of famine Why it matters: Risk of famine conveys the danger clearly, whereas instability of famines is not an idiomatic expression.
- 6. Use concise adjective form Original: a positive effect economically Suggested revision: a positive economic effect Why it matters: The adjective economic modifies effect more directly than the trailing adverb.
- 7. Use formal degree adjective Original: huge Suggested revision: major Why it matters: Major is a more precise formal collocation with consideration.
- 8. Clarify causal link Original: for money is technically flowing out of the country Suggested revision: because money is flowing out of the country Why it matters: Because makes the causal relationship explicit, while technically adds no useful qualification.
- 9. Use standard production term Original: food self-production Suggested revision: domestic food production Why it matters: Domestic food production is the conventional expression for food produced within a country.
- 10. Use formal harvest phrase Original: make or break a harvest Suggested revision: determine the success of a harvest Why it matters: The revision preserves the meaning in a more appropriate academic register.
- 11. Describe trade extent Original: international trade was far lower Suggested revision: international trade was far less extensive Why it matters: Trade is more accurately described by its extent than as being lower without a stated measure.
- 12. Fix risk collocation Original: incurred Suggested revision: posed Why it matters: Weather patterns pose a risk; a risk is incurred by the party exposed to it.
Suggested Rewrites
- all foodstuff themselves all their food themselves
- could and should be self-sufficient can or should be self-sufficient
- effect effects
- e.g. a positive trade balance for example, a positive trade balance
- the instability of famines the risk of famine
- a positive effect economically a positive economic effect
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear, nuanced position and its logical comparison of economic gains with the greater risk posed by dependence on domestic harvests. The main limitation is occasional imprecision in wording and a slightly broad conclusion that promotes overseas imports rather than the more carefully argued strategy of diversified sourcing. The highest priority is to preserve that qualification consistently in the thesis, evidence, and conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly answers the question with a clear position and develops both the economic benefit and food-security risk in depth.
Make the conclusion endorse diversified imports explicitly so it matches the precise solution established in the second body paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses naturally from concession to rebuttal, with effective paragraphing and well-controlled referencing.
Strengthen the final link by echoing the geographical diversification point rather than introducing the broader idea of overseas food.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and topic-specific, though phrases such as food self-production and the instability of famines are not fully natural.
Choose more idiomatic terms such as domestic food production and vulnerability to famine.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures accurately, and the great majority of sentences are error-free.
Edit the few awkward noun and participle patterns, especially all foodstuff and having a country making its own food.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.