The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In today’s world the number of traffic accidents is constantly rising as well as the number of injuries and deaths they cause. A better regulative approach is required for traffic accidents can be reduced. Some people say that changing the drivers’ age limits is the best solution to the problem. However, there are other, more practical ways to deal with this problem.
One alternative is imposing heavier fines at the drivers who exceed the permitted alcohol consumption. According to recent datas, a great proportion of traffic accidents has alcohol as its reason. Utilising technology and installing devices that detect drunk drivers and lock car ignition can be used to keep people with track record of drunk driving off the roads. On some occasions and for repeat offenders in particular, a prison sentence may also be considered.
Furthermore, people should be better educated and more careful while behind the wheel. To be more specific, people should learn to obey road rules and respect the other drivers instead of causing tension or submitting to road rage. In addition, heavy fines should also be levied for exceeded speed limits. Last but not least, safer and wider roads should be constructed to make for easier and more comfortable driving.
Tightening age limits for drivers can be a complementary approach. For example, the elderly with vision problems or other important health issues should be excluded from driving. Besides, young people under 18 years old are considered immature to drive. However, maturity does not necessarily always increases with one’s age, which is why other measures are needed to reducing dangerous driving.
In conclusion, I believe that stronger measures should be implemented for the prevention of traffic accidents, and drivers should have a more responsible attitude. Setting age limits could be helpful but should not be considered the optimal and only solution to the problem.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct preposition Original: fines at the drivers Suggested revision: fines on drivers Why it matters: The noun ‘fines’ takes ‘on’ when identifying the people who receive them.
- 2. Use precise term Original: permitted alcohol consumption Suggested revision: legal alcohol limit Why it matters: This phrase more precisely describes the regulated threshold for drivers.
- 3. Uncountable noun Original: datas Suggested revision: data Why it matters: ‘Data’ is not pluralised as ‘datas’ in standard English.
- 4. Natural collocation Original: great Suggested revision: large Why it matters: ‘A large proportion’ is the standard collocation for expressing quantity.
- 5. Express cause clearly Original: has alcohol as its reason Suggested revision: is caused by alcohol Why it matters: The replacement states the causal relationship in natural English.
- 6. Clarify mechanism Original: lock car ignition Suggested revision: prevent cars from starting Why it matters: The original phrase uses an unnatural noun combination and omits an article or plural form.
- 7. Add article Original: people with track record Suggested revision: people with a track record Why it matters: The singular countable noun ‘track record’ requires an article.
- 8. Remove unnecessary article Original: respect the other drivers Suggested revision: respect other drivers Why it matters: The general plural noun phrase does not need ‘the’.
- 9. Improve collocation Original: submitting to road rage Suggested revision: giving in to road rage Why it matters: ‘Giving in to road rage’ expresses the intended behaviour more naturally.
- 10. Use gerund form Original: levied for exceeded speed limits Suggested revision: imposed for exceeding speed limits Why it matters: After ‘for’, the action requires the gerund ‘exceeding’.
- 11. Use direct phrasing Original: make for easier and more comfortable driving Suggested revision: make driving easier and more comfortable Why it matters: The direct verb pattern is clearer and more natural here.
- 12. Choose precise adjective Original: important Suggested revision: serious Why it matters: ‘Serious’ more accurately describes health problems that affect driving safety.
Suggested Rewrites
- fines at the drivers fines on drivers
- permitted alcohol consumption legal alcohol limit
- datas data
- great large
- has alcohol as its reason is caused by alcohol
- lock car ignition prevent cars from starting
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear, nuanced disagreement and supports it with several relevant alternatives, including penalties, education, technology, and road design. Its main limitation is that some points are asserted rather than fully explained, while recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer solutions more deeply and proofread sentence structures, prepositions, and verb forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and supported by several relevant measures, although some ideas remain list-like or briefly explained.
Develop two or three central alternatives in greater depth by showing exactly how each would reduce accidents.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through distinct paragraphs, with generally clear sequencing and referencing.
Strengthen connections within body paragraphs so that examples extend the preceding claim instead of reading as separate additions.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows useful range for road safety, but recurrent word-choice and collocation problems sometimes weaken precision.
Review collocations and word forms in phrases such as imposing fines on drivers and exceeding speed limits.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of simple and complex structures conveys meaning clearly, despite noticeable errors in agreement, infinitive forms, and sentence construction.
Proofread each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and correct verb patterns, especially after modals and expressions of need.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.