Some people feel that it will be better for society and individuals if driverless cars are widely used. Others are not in the favour of the same. Discuss both the point of views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Digitization and modernization have seen a thorough-going metamorphosis of the world. As per the tides of digital gradations, some people should now be introduced to significantly cut our hassles of driving ourselves, and hence they support the usage of driverless cars. On the other hand, some people oppose the utilization of driverless cars at present and I base on the latter thought. In the paragraphs to come, we shall see both the perspectives and I shall put forth my views.
People who stand in the alignment of the usage of driverless cars often reason it with the emergence of the tech-dependent world today. Almost in all the pangs and walks of life, we see the intermittence and contribution of tech-wizardry. It has inarguably made our lives easier with its algorithm-based functioning that is impeccable and apparently trustworthy. In such a scenario, autonomous cars can as well be trusted for their assistance. Moreover, the automotive cars are believably good for reduced accidents, reduced traffic congestion, reduced CO2 emissions, increased lane capacity, lower fuel consumption, last-mile services, transportation accessibility, reduced travel time and transportation costs and more efficient parking.
In complete opposition to the usage of autonomous cars, some people, including me, propagate otherwise as artificial intelligence cannot be a substitute for human intelligence. The discernment of humans is utterly incongruent in response to a surreptitious scenario as the simulation of the human nervous system cannot ever be rendered as being trustworthy. Moreover, the more the drivers trust their cars to manage the driving, the worse they would handle the consequential abruptions as their cars take over the responsibility. This false sense of security has already been proven to have potentially pernicious, at times, fatal culminations. Self-driving vehicles ostensibly promise both increased traffic safety and a more sustainable transportation industry. However, in the pragmatic foreground, to trust a machine with our lives, we need to be assured of and phlegmatic with its practical safety. From what we see today, flawless driverless cars remain a faraway goal.
Conclusively, although a more fledged monitoring and vigilant system with autonomy could work in the best scenario, taking away the mechanical feel of the car is inept and calamitous both in terms of human cerebral execution as well as the algorithmic functioning of such cars.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Prefer concise wording Original: usage Suggested revision: use Why it matters: Use is the more natural noun in this context.
- 2. Correct verb pattern Original: I base on the latter thought Suggested revision: I support the latter view Why it matters: Base cannot be used intransitively to express agreement with a position.
- 3. Remove article Original: both the perspectives Suggested revision: both perspectives Why it matters: Both directly determines the plural noun, so the article is incorrect.
- 4. Use precise verb Original: stand in the alignment of Suggested revision: support Why it matters: The original phrase is not an idiomatic way to express support.
- 5. Correct collocation Original: reason it with Suggested revision: justify it by referring to Why it matters: Reason something with does not express the intended relationship naturally.
- 6. Fix mixed expression Original: pangs and walks of life Suggested revision: areas of life Why it matters: The phrase mixes unrelated expressions and obscures the meaning.
- 7. Clarify meaning Original: intermittence Suggested revision: presence Why it matters: Intermittence means irregular occurrence and does not fit the intended claim.
- 8. Use formal term Original: tech-wizardry Suggested revision: technology Why it matters: The informal expression is less suitable for an academic essay.
- 9. Correct adverb order Original: can as well be trusted Suggested revision: can also be trusted Why it matters: Also belongs after the modal verb in this construction.
- 10. Choose correct term Original: the automotive cars Suggested revision: autonomous cars Why it matters: Automotive describes the motor-vehicle industry rather than self-driving operation.
- 11. Use accurate hedge Original: believably good for Suggested revision: potentially beneficial for Why it matters: Believably good is an unnatural and imprecise evaluation.
- 12. Use natural phrasing Original: propagate Suggested revision: argue Why it matters: Propagate does not naturally introduce an opposing opinion here.
Suggested Rewrites
- usage use
- I base on the latter thought I support the latter view
- both the perspectives both perspectives
- stand in the alignment of support
- reason it with justify it by referring to
- pangs and walks of life areas of life
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and gives both perspectives, with the case against driverless cars receiving the strongest explanation. However, the supporting side relies heavily on an undeveloped list, while frequent strained word choices make several points harder to follow than necessary. The highest priority is to develop two or three specific advantages with clear reasoning and replace ornate, imprecise vocabulary with natural academic phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a consistent opinion are presented, but the supporting case is largely asserted through a list rather than developed.
Explain a few central advantages with clear cause-and-effect reasoning and a concrete example instead of cataloguing many benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical four-paragraph structure, although some dense sentences and listing weaken the flow within ideas.
Organise each body paragraph around a smaller number of clearly sequenced claims and use referencing to connect their explanations.
Lexical Resource
There is a wide vocabulary range, but frequent unnatural collocations and misused sophisticated words reduce precision and clarity.
Prioritise accurate, conventional academic vocabulary and check that every advanced word expresses the intended meaning naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with generally clear meaning, despite recurring awkward constructions and errors in phrasing and form.
Use more controlled complex sentences, checking clause relationships, verb patterns, and modifiers for grammatical clarity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people feel that it will be better for society and individuals if driverless cars are widely used. Others are not in the favour of the same. Discuss both the point of views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.