The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
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Over the last 30 years the West has witnessed the East strive for a larger ‘piece of the economic pie’, aiming for similar living standards to the EU and US. This has increased pressure on natural resources and prompted suggestions for governments to limit consumption. This idea is severely flawed because it reduces product safety and building products to last would harm the poor.
Firstly, the suggestion that governments should discourage consumers from purchasing ‘up to date products’ would eliminate the opportunity to improve their safety. This is because as technology improves, new discoveries can be used to increase their utility.
Take for example the car industry, here technology such as ABS brakes, air-bags, seat belts have all been derived from a constant flow of improvements. Therefore if the authorities were permitted to limit purchases, car companies would be reluctant to invest in new features, and safety would never improve.
Secondly, it is true we are consuming more, through ever increasing populations, nevertheless, the argument that ‘products should be made to last’ is redundant. If products were built stronger they would be more expensive. This would harm the less wealthy consumer, furthermore with modern technology these products can often be recycled at a later date anyway.
Glass, plastic, paper, batteries, and even mobile phones are now collected to be re-purposed, reused and recycled. Therefore durable products are unnecessary and would harm lower income demographics.
To conclude it is clear that if the public sector were allowed to discourage consumption it would harm product improvements and ultimately consumer safety. Meddling with product durability would most likely harm the poor. Therefore I am strongly opposed to both of these notions.
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IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add introductory comma Original: 30 years the West Suggested revision: 30 years, the West Why it matters: A comma is required after this introductory time phrase.
- 2. Use precise wording Original: piece of the economic pie Suggested revision: share of global prosperity Why it matters: This wording states the economic idea more precisely than the informal metaphor.
- 3. Improve collocation Original: suggestions Suggested revision: calls Why it matters: The phrase “calls for governments” is the more natural collocation here.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: their Suggested revision: product Why it matters: Naming product safety removes the ambiguous pronoun reference.
- 5. Match the safety point Original: increase their utility Suggested revision: improve their safety Why it matters: This wording keeps the sentence focused on the paragraph’s stated concern with safety.
- 6. Punctuate the connector Original: Therefore if Suggested revision: Therefore, if Why it matters: A comma should separate the sentence connector from the following clause.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: products were built stronger Suggested revision: products were made more durable Why it matters: Products are more naturally described as being made durable than built stronger.
- 8. Correct the spelling Original: re-purposed Suggested revision: repurposed Why it matters: The standard spelling is one unhyphenated word.
- 9. Name the group clearly Original: lower income demographics Suggested revision: lower-income groups Why it matters: A demographic is a population characteristic, while groups refers clearly to the people affected.
- 10. Add introductory comma Original: To conclude it Suggested revision: To conclude, it Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory phrase.
- 11. Use the exact actor Original: the public sector Suggested revision: the government Why it matters: Government is the precise decision-maker discussed in the task and essay.
- 12. Improve the collocation Original: harm product improvements Suggested revision: hinder product development Why it matters: Hinder product development is a more natural expression for slowing innovation.
Suggested Rewrites
- 30 years the West 30 years, the West
- piece of the economic pie share of global prosperity
- suggestions calls
- their product
- increase their utility improve their safety
- Therefore if Therefore, if
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a firm position and develops two relevant objections with clear explanations and examples, supported by a strong range of vocabulary. Its effectiveness is reduced by the unrelated promotional sentences at the beginning and end, several overgeneralised claims, and recurring punctuation problems. The highest priority is to remove all non-task material and develop the resource-consumption argument with more precise, balanced reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear opposing position is maintained and both proposals are addressed through relevant, generally developed arguments.
Remove the unrelated promotional material and support the claims about safety, durability, and recycling with more nuanced reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through two main arguments, although intrusive opening and closing lines and some repetitive transitions weaken cohesion.
Begin directly with the essay and use clearer sentence boundaries instead of repeated connectors and comma-linked clauses.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often precise, with effective use of terms related to economics, technology, and consumption.
Refine awkward or imprecise combinations such as products being built stronger and lower income demographics.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used, but comma splices and faulty clause punctuation recur across the response.
Separate independent clauses correctly and check punctuation around examples, conditionals, and linking adverbs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.