Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent technological developments.
Sample Response
Many people argue that the technological invention and development in earlier ages were more beneficial to ordinary people while others believe that the technological development in recent years is more important and helpful for mass people. In my opinion, recent advancements in technology fields are more important and helpful that they used to be in the early ages.
First of all, technology is still progressing and the development of technology will continue. Earlier technology is being constantly upgraded to bring more values to the people and from this point of view, the recent development is more accessible for mass people. Secondly, the earlier technology was very expensive and mass population could not afford it. Only a few percentages of rich people could access the technology in earlier ages. But nowadays to own useful technological devices like cell phone, computer, communication devices and household appliances have become much cheaper than it used to be. Thirdly, recent technological developments are far more impressive though they are often not highlighted as the earlier technology. The invention and development of cell phones are well-known information among people while very few people understand the implication of the advancement we have made in genetic engineering and medical science. People in earlier ages had little control over the epidemic disease through the invention of TV at this time is highlighted in greater details. But the advancement of medical science to eradicate those diseases is a tremendous development in medical science that few of us understand.
Finally, people in today’s world have more opportunity to develop a technology that the people in earlier ages had and thus we are improving and introducing more complex and accommodating development in technological fields that would be greatly revered in coming days.
So, I opine that the development in technology in earlier ages was very important but it would be unwise to say that they were more beneficial for the mass people that the technologies that we have introduced or introduced in current days.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural developments Original: the technological invention and development Suggested revision: technological inventions and developments Why it matters: The general comparison concerns multiple inventions and developments.
- 2. Use earlier periods Original: ages Suggested revision: periods Why it matters: 'Earlier periods' is more natural for historical technological eras.
- 3. Use general public Original: helpful for mass people Suggested revision: helpful to the general public Why it matters: 'Mass people' is not a standard English expression, and 'helpful' takes 'to' here.
- 4. Use technological fields Original: technology Suggested revision: technological Why it matters: The adjective 'technological' is required before 'fields.'
- 5. Correct comparative than Original: that Suggested revision: than Why it matters: A comparative adjective requires 'than,' not 'that.'
- 6. Use provide value Original: bring more values to the people Suggested revision: provide more value to people Why it matters: 'Value' is uncountable when referring generally to benefit.
- 7. Use plural developments Original: the recent development is more accessible Suggested revision: recent developments are more accessible Why it matters: The argument refers to technological advances generally, so a plural subject and verb are needed.
- 8. Add definite article Original: mass population could not afford it Suggested revision: the general population could not afford it Why it matters: The group needs an article, and 'general population' is the natural expression.
- 9. Use small percentage Original: a few percentages of rich people Suggested revision: a small percentage of wealthy people Why it matters: A percentage is a single proportion, so 'a small percentage' is required.
- 10. Use had access Original: could access the technology Suggested revision: had access to technology Why it matters: The noun phrase 'have access to' is more natural in this historical comparison.
- 11. Complete comparison phrase Original: not highlighted as the earlier technology Suggested revision: not highlighted as much as earlier technologies Why it matters: The comparison requires 'as much as' and a plural reference to earlier developments.
- 12. Fix uncountable agreement Original: are well-known information Suggested revision: are widely known Why it matters: 'Information' is uncountable and cannot serve as a plural complement in this form.
Suggested Rewrites
- the technological invention and development technological inventions and developments
- ages periods
- helpful for mass people helpful to the general public
- technology technological
- that than
- bring more values to the people provide more value to people
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear preference for recent technological progress and supports it with relevant points about affordability, accessibility, medicine, and continuing innovation. Its main limitation is uneven development: several comparisons remain asserted rather than demonstrated, and the television-and-disease example becomes unclear. Build each paragraph around one precise comparison between an earlier development and a recent one, then explain its effect on ordinary people.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a relevant position and supplies several supporting reasons, but some claims and examples are insufficiently explained or logically confused.
Develop two or three direct old-versus-recent comparisons and show concretely how each affects ordinary people's lives.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a recognisable introduction, ordered supporting points, and conclusion, although one long body paragraph and some unclear links weaken progression.
Give each main reason its own paragraph and use the opening sentence to establish the comparison that the rest of that paragraph will develop.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic-specific range, including language about accessibility, genetic engineering, and disease, but frequent imprecise collocations reduce naturalness.
Replace repeated or awkward phrases such as 'mass people' and 'earlier ages' with precise terms such as 'the general public' and 'earlier periods.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a range of complex structures, but frequent agreement, article, comparison, and clause-boundary errors reduce control and occasionally obscure meaning.
Proofread comparative forms and break malformed multi-clause sentences into shorter, grammatically complete units.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent technological developments.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.