Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, we live in a globalised advance era in which learning a new language has become one of the great concerns of every person. Some people believe that since one language is not adequate for communication, children should start to learn a foreign language in their primary schools. I strongly agree with this statement due to the following reasons.
First of all, if someone wants to see outcome soon, one must start sooner. To be more precise, brain ability in learning new language reduces with growing up. Additionally, scientists claim that unlike the misconception of parents, children do not confuse the words of their mother tongue with a studied language, but they learn more efficiently. Secondly, learning a new language can broaden children’s horizon because of enhancing their social skills. When they learn a foreign language, they become more interested in that country and can make a connection with more easily. Moreover, they can cope with their future issues related to their field of study by having access to the variety of sources presented in their second language.
When children start their early education, their minds remain fresh and they can catch more information. It is the ideal time to learn a new language so they can master the language in short time. Besides, they do not learn a language all of a random. Rather this is decided by the parents, teacher and that has a cultural perspective that the children should learn at the earlier stage rather than the later stages of life.
Finally, adults always are afraid of making mistakes when they learn a new language and this fear is one of the biggest barriers in this process. Moreover, they are always distracted with their problems related to their work, family and etc. Therefore, they need more efforts in comparison to the children.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use adjective form Original: globalised advance era Suggested revision: globalised advanced era Why it matters: The noun needs the adjective form 'advanced' to modify 'era'.
- 2. Improve collocation Original: one of the great concerns of every person Suggested revision: a major concern for many people Why it matters: This wording expresses the idea more naturally and precisely.
- 3. Use general singular Original: their primary schools Suggested revision: primary school Why it matters: Use the singular without a possessive when referring generally to this stage of education.
- 4. Use natural phrase Original: see outcome Suggested revision: see results Why it matters: 'See results' is the natural expression for observing a successful outcome.
- 5. Repair noun phrase Original: brain ability in learning new language Suggested revision: the brain's ability to learn a new language Why it matters: The phrase needs a possessive structure, an infinitive, and an article.
- 6. Clarify age change Original: reduces with growing up Suggested revision: declines with age Why it matters: This replacement states the change over time in natural English.
- 7. Use possessive form Original: misconception of parents Suggested revision: parents' misconception Why it matters: The possessive form correctly shows that the misconception belongs to parents.
- 8. Clarify reference Original: a studied language Suggested revision: the language they are studying Why it matters: This wording makes the intended reference to the foreign language clear.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: children’s horizon Suggested revision: children's horizons Why it matters: The idiom normally uses the plural noun when referring to multiple children.
- 10. Fix causal structure Original: because of enhancing Suggested revision: by enhancing Why it matters: 'By' correctly introduces the means through which their horizons are broadened.
- 11. Complete the object Original: make a connection with more easily Suggested revision: connect with others more easily Why it matters: The original phrase lacks an object after 'with' and uses an awkward construction.
- 12. Fix article choice Original: the variety of sources Suggested revision: a variety of sources Why it matters: Use 'a variety of' when referring to a range of unspecified sources.
Suggested Rewrites
- globalised advance era globalised advanced era
- one of the great concerns of every person a major concern for many people
- their primary schools primary school
- see outcome see results
- brain ability in learning new language the brain's ability to learn a new language
- reduces with growing up declines with age
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear position and offers several relevant reasons for beginning foreign-language study early, including learning capacity and future access to information. However, development is uneven, some points repeat rather than advance the argument, and the lack of a focused conclusion weakens the overall impact. Prioritise explaining fewer reasons with precise, concrete examples and consistently accurate sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear opinion is supported by several relevant reasons, though examples are general and some ideas remain insufficiently developed.
Develop two or three central reasons with specific illustrations and finish with a conclusion that directly reinforces the position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is broadly organised into logical paragraphs, but progression becomes repetitive and the argument lacks a concluding paragraph.
Give each body paragraph one distinct purpose and use the conclusion to synthesise rather than repeat the main reasoning.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied enough to discuss learning and communication, but recurrent awkward collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace expressions such as 'see outcome soon' and 'all of a random' with conventional academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent article, preposition, agreement, and sentence-construction errors weaken control.
Focus on accurate noun phrases and complete clause patterns, especially articles, plurals, and required objects after verbs and prepositions.